Tag Archives: death

Death of a Child, Death of a Parent, Death of Fiancee, Grieving Children, Holidays, Military

Memorial Day 2011

Leave a comment

In anticipation of Memorial Day this year, I did a little research to find out exactly how many families have paid the ultimate sacrifice of sending their loved ones off to war, never to return to them. I was amazed at the huge numbers of deaths, especially during World War I and II but had no idea the numbers were so high for the Civil War, especially since our population was nearly 1/3 of what it is today. Take a look at each war and the total American Fatalities for each.

American Revolutionary War 22,674
War of 1812 11,700
Mexican-American War 13,271
American Civil War (1860-1965) 618,000
Spanish-American War 5,385
Philippine-American War 4,196
World War I (1917-1918) 117,465
World War II (1941-1945) 418,500
Korean War (1950-1953) 36,516
Vietnam War 58,159
Gulf War (1991) 382
War on Terror (2001-present)
Afghanistan (2001-present) 1,413
Iraq (2003-present) 4,430

Total Military Deaths 1,312,091

Although many are unhappy with our presence in the middle east at this time, the number of casualties has been remarkable low considering we have been there for over a decade.

But to a spouse or child grieving that soldier’s death, they are the only one who matters in all these statistics. And it is their sacrifice I think about today. Their pain, their grief, their loss, their sorrow.

Each military family who has either lost a loved one or is grieving the loss of limbs, sustained head injuries, or life as they once knew it, are forever changed.

So today we remember them for their courage, their commitment, their sacrifice and thank them for all of it.

Anticipated Death

When is Enough Enough?

1 Comment

I’m always amazed at how doctors will tell you they cannot ‘cure’ your illness, cancer, etc. but at the same time tell you they can still ‘treat’ it. Exactly what does that mean, anyhow?

Well what that means is this…’treat’ is codeword for “I don’t have anything else to offer you, the cancer cannot be cured, we cannot operate, but you might as well do chemo and radiation anyway.” This makes me absolutely crazy.

So when is enough, enough? When is it time to acknowledge the chemo and radiation are really ways to finance the hospitals and medical machine that is the second largest GDP in the USA – cancer.

Will it cure the cancer? No. Can they operate and take out the cancer – in this particular case – no.

So, knowing that, exactly why would you want to put yourself through the pain of radiation and the sickness that comes with chemo. The poison will not make you better, only worse.

There comes a time when you have a serious question to ask yourself. When do I recognize that this is my time and better to live out whatever time I do have left without treatments that will not make me better, just because a doctor has prescribed them and so we go along with what he says.

I have seen this time and time again. There will come a time that no medicine will help…instead it will make life more miserable. It will make the last months/years of your life a living hell, going to chemo treatments, undergoing radiation, for what?

Instead, a serious assessment of possibilities are necessary. Can natural health alternative help better at this point? If you know the illness cannot be cured, wouldn’t it be better to enjoy your last time with your family and when pain medication was needed, have the doctor prescribe a morphine patch.

This way, you get to truly LIVE the rest of your life. You get to enjoy your family at home, instead of going for rounds and rounds of treatments which will do no good. You get to spend time talking about your life together, reminiscing about old memories, prepare the young people in your life for your passing, get to say all the things you needed to say to those you loved but never could.

If you’re well enough, do the things now that you didn’t get a chance to do before you get too weak. Visit your friends, write the letters, plan your funeral the way you want it. Maybe even make a video to tell them how much you love them.

So yes, it’s a bold step to refuse further treatment…but someone has to be strong enough to say out loud what everyone’s thinking anyway.

Enjoy what time you have. Don’t succumb to the only options doctors have to offer.

Death of a Parent, Diary of a Grieving..., Grieving Children, Vehicular Homicide/Drunk Driving

Diary of a Grieving Child

1 Comment

Well I finally learned how to do these videos. I’m excited to share them with you. They speak through the hearts of grieving people.

My heart’s desire was to help you better understand what the bereaved really go through after a loved one’s death – what a hurting person is really saying inside. Post a comment. I’d love to hear what you think.

Holidays, Uncategorized

Memories at Holidays

Leave a comment

As I work through my “to do” list this Christmas season, I find myself thinking about all the people who have left my life. Some have died and some are still living.

Those who have died take an added measure of thought. I decorate with ornaments and beautiful trinkets that they won’t enjoy admiring with me, purchase gifts that they won’t get, wrapping presents that they won’t open.

I miss that I can’t call them to tell them all that is going on with me this season…the good and bad. And while some have moved from my life for decades now, I find them coming to mind.

There was a time when I thought it would be better if I’d never thought of these folks again, simply because it was too painful. Especially soon after their deaths I thought this way.

But as time moved on, I came to think differently. I came to a place where it was comforting in a strange sort of way. Comforting because it was really the only way I could have a piece of them in my life.

And now, while it still stabs at my heartstrings when I realize I can’t have them here any longer, I am grateful for just the little things like memories of good times, things they said, things they did, gifts they gave me at other Christmas long ago. I think of special days we spent together, how they made me laugh and how we acted silly at times.

I guess what bothers me the most is that I’ll never have that back again. But I guess the love I shared with each unique person I’ve loved and who has gone now, can never be replaced exactly the same way with any other person who is now or will come into my life. It’s just the way it is.

So I try to be content with the memories because I can’t get back their presence. And even with all the pain I’ve endured with each person who left before me, no one can ever take my memories from me.