Category Archives: Social Challenges

The Mary Mac Show | Placing Blame Where It Belongs

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 142, we discuss what happens when a loved one’s death caused extreme embarrassment for you and the family and how to release that pain so you can build a new life.

Maybe your loved one experimented or was deep into opioid drugs, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl. Maybe they have been involved in gangs. Perhaps driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Involved in domestic abuse of their spouse or even decided to take their own life.

All of these situations are the direct result of their personal behavior and decisions they made in their lives.

And, unfortunately, they can bring great embarrassment to you afterwards.

In this week’s episode I delve into the great pain you feel after they’ve died and left the mess they did for you.

To save face, many families will not talk about what happened.

They may tell all kinds of tails, especially to younger children, about how a person died. Maybe even telling them a family member died of cancer instead of AIDS, or an accident when it was suicide.

They will say things like they ‘accidentally overdosed’ or they will not disclose in their obituary how they died.

They will use words like ‘died unexpectedly’ but they never tell the entire story.

Now there are a lot of connotations to those two possibilities.

And it leaves people to wonder if the death was much worse than it really was.

A person could have ‘died unexpectedly’ in a car crash, heart attack, stroke, died in their sleep. So many ways. But none of those would cause the family to be embarrassed, now would they?

I guess I’m perplexed about how someone can ‘accidentally overdose’. They knew they were taking the drugs. They knew how much they were taking. They knew the risks involved with such powerful drugs. And when they reached out to a drug dealer, they knew they were putting themselves in great harm.

There wasn’t anything ‘accidental’ about it. And the possibility that they actually wanted to take their life using drugs still floats out there. But many families don’t want to entertain that thought.

When someone gets into a car and they’ve been drinking and taking drugs, they know the risk of killing others and themselves but that wasn’t their priority at that time. So when they kill others and themselves in that car crash, their family is devastated. Along with the family of those he or she killed with their recklessness.

If someone joined a gang, more than likely they had to prove themselves by killing someone, usually an innocent person. And then when they themselves are killed along the way, their family is embarrassed and distraught for what they did.

If a husband or wife is accustomed to beating on their spouse and this is a continual occurrence, and then one day they go too far and the battered spouse is killed, maybe to make the news in the papers, how difficult is it for the surviving family to endure.

Perhaps they took their own life, in so many manners – drugs, hung themselves, drove their car into a lake, stockpile, a huge truck or even used a gun to kill themselves. Suicide is not accidental by any means.

In this week’s episode I encourage survivors to get brutally honest about what really happened because if you’re still lying to yourself, you will stay stuck in your grief and not allow yourself to rebuild a life where you thrive.

So listen in to Episode 142 to learn ways to deal with this.

Blessings to you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to make a donation to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show Encore | Grieving a World We Once Knew II

The Mary Mac Show PodcastIn Episode 135 Part I of “Grieving a World We Once Knew” we discussed the uncertainties in our world, inflation, pandemic issues, and how we must reevaluate what is important to us and how to cope when we have little control over our new world.

When we are dealing with a loved one’s death, it is expected that we will experience various challenges to our physical health, mental health, financial health, spiritual health and intellectual health.

And now that we have the additional stress, anxiety and possible overwhelm with our society changing at such a rapid pace, it is that much more important that we look at how it is affecting us in addition to the grief we feel for our loved one.

Don’t take this lightly.

It is imperative that you care for yourself and your family during these times.

We unfortunately do not have the luxury of only considering our bereavement. We are now tasked with learning how to fully care for ourselves in many way.

Listen in to Part II in Episode 136, to learn how to better prepare yourself for the times ahead.

Please take time to share your experiences and comments below so others can learn from you.

Stay Strong and Bless you my friend.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

As you know I am a great believer in the power of the Emotional Freedom Technique.

Here are a few videos that I think will help you tremendously:
EFT Video for Grief after Death of a Loved One, EFT Video for Anxiety, EFT Video for Releasing Stress and Tension, and How to do Surrogate EFT.

Subscribe to Full Spectrum Survival, which gives important information on how to survive what we believe is up ahead for us. Learn as much as you can, as quickly as you can. And stock up on food, water and supplies.

If you need someone to chat with, don’t be shy. It’s totally confidential. Go to Crisis Connections page on my website MaryMac.info to find telephone numbers for Crisis Hotlines around the world.

As promised, here are some of the additional faith-based hotlines you can call for prayer and to calm you:

Trinity Broadcasting Network – TBN (714)731-1000
700 Club (800)759-0700
Joel Osteen Prayer Request (713)491-1283 or toll free at (888)567-5635
(I also enjoy Joel Osteen’s Daily Podcast)

If you need help finding people who will understand your exact pain, visit my Grief Resources page.

Visit GriefAuthority.com to purchase my Bundle of Hope Books which includes my book Understanding Your Grieving Heart After a Loved One’s death, the first and best book to reach for as you deal with your grief and How to Help a Grieving Child After a Loved One’s Death to help your surviving children.

You’re welcome to send your questions to the Contact page on my site.

You can obtain my free ebook entitled 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process, available for immediate download right here on this site.

Please subscribe, rate and review on The Mary Mac Show website or Apple Podcasts!

Much Love,
xoxo

The Mary Mac Show | Handling Loneliness and Isolation

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 119, we discuss how we can feel overwhelming loneliness and isolation after a loved one’s death and how to help ourselves through these difficult times.

Often times when we feel so badly and we don’t believe people understand our pain, we tend to isolation simply because it’s easier.

But what we don’t understand is that we are creating a loneliness that lingers.

We create a world where we keep pushing people out and not socializing.

In this episode, we discuss how to move out of those places and start to look at rebuilding our life.

You might feel it is too hard.

But it’s important for your mental and physical health that you not remain isolated, stuck and stagnant.

Learn EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique, in the show notes below. This will be of enormous help to you move forward on your journey.

Bless you my friend.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

Watch this video using EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique, so you can release the feeling of being stuck.

You can obtain my free ebook entitled 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process, available for immediate download right here on this site.

If you are grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! My thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | The Gift of Honesty

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 114, we discuss the very difficult emotions we encounter when a loved one’s death caused extreme embarrassment for you and the family and how to release that pain so you can build a new life.

Perhaps your loved one was experimenting or deep in opioid drugs, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl. Maybe they have been involved in gangs. Perhaps driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Involved in domestic abuse of their spouse or even decided to take their own life.

All of these situations are the direct result of their personal behavior and decisions they made in their lives.

And, unfortunately, they can bring great embarrassment to you after they have died.

In this week’s episode I delve in deep to the great pain you feel after they’ve died and left the mess they did for you.

To safe face, many families will not talk about what happened.

They will say things like they ‘accidentally overdosed’ or they will not disclose in their obituary how they died.

They will use words like ‘died unexpectedly’ but they never tell the entire story.

Now there are a lot of connotations to those two possibilities.

And it leaves people to wonder if the death was much worse than it really was.

A person could have ‘died unexpectedly’ in a car crash, heart attack, stroke, died in their sleep. So many ways. But none of those would cause the family to be embarrassed, now would they?

I guess I’m perplexed about how someone can ‘accidentally overdose’. They knew they were taking the drugs. They knew how much they were taking. They knew the risks involved with such powerful drugs. And when they reached out to a drug dealer, they knew they were putting themselves in great harm.

There wasn’t anything ‘accidental’ about it. And the possibility that they actually wanted to take their life using drugs still floats out there. But many families don’t want to entertain that thought.

When someone gets into a car and they’ve been drinking and drugging, they know the risk of killing others and themselves but that wasn’t their priority at that time. So when they kill others and themselves in that car crash, their family is devastated. Along with the family of those he or she killed with their recklessness.

If someone joined a gang, more than likely they had to prove themselves by killing someone, usually an innocent person. And then when they themselves are killed along the way, their family is embarrassed and distraught for what they did.

If a husband or wife is accustomed to beating on their spouse and this is a continual occurrence, and then one day they go too far and the battered spouse is killed, maybe to make the news in the papers, how difficult is it for the surviving family to endure.

Perhaps they took their own life, in so many manners – drugs, hung themselves, drove their car into a lake, stockpile, a huge truck. Suicide is not accidental by any means.

In this week’s episode I encourage survivors to get brutally honest about what really happened because if you’re still lying to yourself, you will stay stuck in your grief and not allow yourself to rebuild a life where you thrive.

So listen in to Episode 114 to learn ways to deal with this.

Blessings to you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | Preparing For The Holiday Season I

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In this week’s episode, we discuss how to prepare yourself as we encounter the year-end holidays.

No matter which ones you celebrate, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Years, or many others after a loved one has died, they just don’t feel the same.

For those who are dealing with their first holiday season, it can be especially difficult.

Trying to feel happy and enjoying the seasons as you did in the past, can be a difficult task.

The main thing to know is that you don’t have to do all you’ve done in the past.

You can decide on a different path. You can curtail your events and celebrations this year and there is nothing wrong with that.

Your emotional state is different now and you must be sensitive to that and treat yourself with more care.

Whereas you might have handled all the cooking, cleaning, baking and hosting, this year it might be better to let another family member take the lead. And you simply attend and take the stress off of yourself.

And remember to pick up my ebook Holiday Grief: How To Cope With Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death right here on my site on the left hand margin to help you.

Remember to be good to yourself, my warrior. Let others help you.

Additional Notes:

Learn EFT to calm your intense emotions. Visit here.

Meditation Videos to help you rest. Choose which resonate with you.

Please share with anyone you know who might benefit from this knowledge. Also subscribe to my podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

xoxo