Tag Archives: loneliness

The Mary Mac Show | Living While Grieving

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 67, we explore how we isolate ourselves for much longer than is healthy and look at ways to allow ourselves to flourish again after a loved one’s death.

When we are in the depth of despair, it is very easy to become stuck.

We don’t want to go anywhere, do anything.

Instead just staying home and turning down invitations, events and gatherings with family and friends becomes commonplace.

We can get to a place where we aren’t even invited any longer.

But living in this state is not healthy. We aren’t meant to be alone which only exacerbates our situation.

Listen in to this episode and learn how to lift yourself out of this sad place.

It doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

It doesn’t mean you won’t always be close to them.

It means that you might just be ready to start reliving your life, bit by bit.

And you are entitled to.

You can live while grieving.

You can laugh, feel joy, go out with family and friends.

Explore the world again.

Decide this will be the day to reinvigorate yourself and try something new.

Bless you, my friend, my warrior!

xoxo

Additional Notes:

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions.

Learn the Emotional Freedom Technique here for Stress and Overwhelm. It will soothe you and calm you physically and emotionally. Dr. Arianna also offers free guided-meditations which are wonderful.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Bach’s Rescue Remedy will calm and soothe you. Remember, it does have alcohol in if, if that is a concern for you.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private list below, so we can always stay in touch. Since social media is no longer reliable, please complete the form below so I can connect with you via email.

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The Mary Mac Show | Emotional Challenges | Loneliness and Isolation

The Mary Mac Show PodcastOne of the most difficult aspects of the grieving process is when we deal with loneliness, feeling alone and isolation to protect ourselves from further pain.

In Episode 13, we differentiate between being lonely and feeling alone. We can be around many people but still, inside, we feel alone.

As our grieving process proceeds, we sometimes believe it’s better to isolate ourselves because so many people just don’t understand what we are going through. They haven’t experienced the death of a spouse, parent, child or sibling. So they just can’t feel what you’re feeling.

Sometimes they don’t follow through on visiting us or doing something for us that they promised to do and we wonder why.

But at some point, whether we like it or not, we need to slowly move from our place of isolation and build a new life for ourselves. And even though that is so unfair, it is very unhealthy to linger in the pity-party stage.

Listen to Episode 13, so you can better understand these emotions and what to do to help yourself.

Christmas 2011

On this Christmas evening, I’m sitting with my family all relaxing together after a memorable day and eve.

We’ve shared wonderful food, delicious desserts, fun gifts and so much laughter our sides hurt. There is something about spending time with my family when we goof around with each other, making each other scream and double-over with laughter.

Today was especially memorable as my niece became engaged. Her fiance, in front of all of us, so calmly and with such tenderness, expressed his love for her, recounting the moment he knew for certain she was the one for him, and then asked her to marry him.

Everyone reached for their phones to video the event and my niece was so overjoyed, she beamed. She could barely stand still she was so excited.

And then the ring…a beautiful little blue box from Tiffany. She is thrilled.

At that point it became a frenzy of all the relatives and friends we must call to share the wonderful news. Everyone was asking the other, “Did we call Uncle Harold, and Aunt Fran and Aunt Millie.”

Calls to Hawaii, Long Island, Philadelphia, Korea, Miami…just so much fun hearing their reactions.

And on the flip side, at this time of year, I am so thoughtful and reflective about all the people I know and even may never meet, who won’t have this type of excitement during the holidays.

Not just folks who may have experienced a loved one’s death, but those who simply do not have family or friends nearby to celebrate, hug, dine with, laugh with and just have the opportunity to be with family and friends.

A piece of my heart hurts for their loneliness this day. It always does. I guess because I’ve been there.

I remember times when I wasn’t near my family over Christmas. Times when our grief was so overwhelming that we actually felt worse to be with family. They were laughing and having a good time while I was feeling so horrible inside that we just couldn’t share the day with them.

I felt so alone, so lonely, so out of place, so unsettled. I couldn’t calm my emotions so it was easier to stay away than to participate.

As time went on, I became emotionally stronger and could deal with everyone’s happiness because I had then allowed myself to feel happiness again for longer periods of time. And eventually, my joy returned as I realized me being unhappy because the persons I loved were no longer with me, wasn’t doing me any good at all. Martyrdom is a horrible by-product of grief that we somehow instill in ourselves and never helps us at all.

So my heart today is with the happiness of my niece and new nephew, but also all those who feel alone whether physically away from family and friends, or spiritually away as a result of a loved one’s death.

I wish you serenity and comforting memories of wonderful times you enjoyed with them in the past.

Remember…no one can take those delightful memories from you…ever.

All you need do is close your eyes and envision them with great clarity to lift your spirits.

You have the power to shift, even if for only a few moments at a time, from grief to comfort, grief to calm, grief to joy, grief to laughter. You can make that happen for yourself…at any time you choose.

So do have a lovely Christmas and holiday season. I am holding you in my heart.