Category Archives: Anticipated Death

The Mary Mac Show | Creating End of Life Choices

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 91, we discuss the courageous act of developing a plan for what we would like to happen should we become ill, unable to care for ourselves, or die and the decisions that need to be made so our families know of our desires.

Talking about our end of life planning is not something that most of us considers.

It is uncomfortable and quite frankly, we usually don’t know where to start, even if we decided it was something that we should do.

Most times, something dramatic has taken place which stirs us to consider that it would be a wise decision to do so.

Perhaps someone in our lives died suddenly.

Perhaps someone has a serious diagnosis that might be terminal.

It is at these times that dealing with the subject of death becomes more relevant in our lives.

That’s not to say we like it. Absolutely not.

Most of us find it abhorrent that we need to deal with this issue.

But at some point, and hopefully sooner than later, we take on the uncomfortable task of thinking about a will, a do-not-resusitate order (DNR), a living will, and possibly a trust so that our loved ones will understand our wishes when our life nears its end.

In this episode we talk about these legal documents and help you start to engage in these difficult tasks that need decisions and must be attended to if you want your loved ones to know of your desires.

The last thing you want is to leave behind chaos when you die. It causes stress among the family members who must sort out what they think you wanted versus what you did want.

So please take the time to listen in to Episode 91.

Don’t be afraid of this difficult topic. You and your family will be so grateful you took the time and energy to lay out your wishes before you leave them.

Bless you!
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | Conversations About Death and Dying

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 90, we discuss the importance of speaking about death and dying preferably long before imminent death is upon our relatives and loved ones.

There is no doubt this is an uncomfortable topic, but one we need to discuss.

In this day and age, we have no idea when terminal illness and death will visit ourselves or our family.

And since so much is uncertain with variants of a virus that has consumed so much of the last year and a half, not to mention how the vaccine has killed people, we live in a specifically uncertain time.

It is true that if we didn’t have to deal with this, we wouldn’t.

It is uncomfortable.

Many people find it hard to talk about death and dying.

We’d rather leave it up to someone else.

But don’t let fear stop you from truly connecting with someone you love during the end days.

Sometimes death comes very quickly and it would be sad if you hadn’t had a conversation around death long before it ever occurred in your relationship with them.

If you had this conversation when they were well, or when they were diagnosed with an illness, you would capture a very wonderful connection with them.

There would be no regrets.

You would have said all you’d like to say to someone who meant so much to you.

We don’t know what the future holds these days. Life is so fragile now.

Take the time to think about this.

If it’s too sensitive to speak all you want to say aloud, do so in writing.

Either way, your soul will be at peace and no matter what happens in the future, you are settled.

Personally, I am thinking about writing out letters to the most important people in my life to acknowledge those who have helped me, loved me and let them know how grateful I feel to have them in my life.

With all that’s happening in this world, we could leave this life in an instant.

Use the time you have to make a difference.

Love you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | Death of a Spouse

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 82, we discuss the challenges we face after the death of our husband or wife and how widows and widowers struggle to build a new life.

Widowhood is, by far, one of the most stressful and overwhelming losses we can experience.

Whether we have lost a husband or wife who was with us for a few years or decades, the relationship we shared with them was, more than likely, the most intimate one we had in our lifetime.

They spent more time with us than any other person.

While we feel a great bond to our children, our spouse is the one with whom we started our adult journey before our children were born.

And when they become adults and move onto their own lives, it is our spouse who is still next to us to live the remainder of our days.

Even if we divorce and remarry, that person is the one we share the majority of our waking hours with, apart from working.

We wake with them.

We go to sleep with them.

We enjoy all sorts of experiences with them.

They are our best friends who listen to us when we are sad, confused, angry, frustrated.

They hold us when we cry.

They console us when we are hurting.

They are our confidante, unlike any other.

So when they die, we are devastated.

And recovering from our grief is difficult and a long-term process.

Listen in to Episode 82 to learn what happens at the beginning of widowhood.

And remember, when it becomes overwhelming, do reach out to grief counselors at hotlines (see below) to listen and console you.

Sending you my love. xoxo

Additional Notes:

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions. Even if it is a suicide hotline, do not think they cannot help you. You do not need to feel suicidal to speak with these wonderful counselors. They are there to listen to you.

I encourage you to find support groups for widows and widowers by searching online for “widowed groups” in your city/town. They usually meet a few times each month at the local church, senior center, hospital or hospice in your area.

Use the Emotional Freedom Technique for Healing.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private email list so we can always stay in touch, since social media is no longer reliable. Receive my ebook 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process for immediate download.

xoxo

The Mary Mac Show | Grieving the Death of a Friend

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 66, we discuss the unique emotions and challenges we experience when we grieve for a friend who has died.

Unlike family, we choose our friends. And there are times when we feel much closer to our friends and have more deep and meaningful relationships with them than with family members.

So when they die, either through illness, accident, anticipatory or sudden, we are shocked that this could happen.

Whether the friend is a classmate, a teammate or a neighbor friend when we are young, or someone we met through work, or a hobby that we both loved, we grow that friendship into something wonderful.

Unlike a family member, when our friend dies others might feel and let us know that this relationship should not be mourned as you would for a relative.

But this is not so.

We might have a relative we barely saw or knew and we would not grieve to the same extent we grieve for a friend we have known nearly all our lives.

Listen in to Episode 66 for more on this very important discussion.

Bless you, my friend, my warrior!

xoxo

Additional Notes:

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions.

Learn the Emotional Freedom Technique here for Stress and Overwhelm. It will soothe you and calm you physically and emotionally. Dr. Arianna also offers free guided-meditations which are wonderful.

Bach’s Rescue Remedy will calm and soothe you. Remember, it does have alcohol in if, if that is a concern for you.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private list below, so we can always stay in touch. Since social media is no longer reliable, please complete the form below so I can connect with you via email.

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When is Enough Enough?

I’m always amazed at how doctors will tell you they cannot ‘cure’ your illness, cancer, etc. but at the same time tell you they can still ‘treat’ it. Exactly what does that mean, anyhow?

Well what that means is this…’treat’ is codeword for “I don’t have anything else to offer you, the cancer cannot be cured, we cannot operate, but you might as well do chemo and radiation anyway.” This makes me absolutely crazy.

So when is enough, enough? When is it time to acknowledge the chemo and radiation are really ways to finance the hospitals and medical machine that is the second largest GDP in the USA – cancer.

Will it cure the cancer? No. Can they operate and take out the cancer – in this particular case – no.

So, knowing that, exactly why would you want to put yourself through the pain of radiation and the sickness that comes with chemo. The poison will not make you better, only worse.

There comes a time when you have a serious question to ask yourself. When do I recognize that this is my time and better to live out whatever time I do have left without treatments that will not make me better, just because a doctor has prescribed them and so we go along with what he says.

I have seen this time and time again. There will come a time that no medicine will help…instead it will make life more miserable. It will make the last months/years of your life a living hell, going to chemo treatments, undergoing radiation, for what?

Instead, a serious assessment of possibilities are necessary. Can natural health alternative help better at this point? If you know the illness cannot be cured, wouldn’t it be better to enjoy your last time with your family and when pain medication was needed, have the doctor prescribe a morphine patch.

This way, you get to truly LIVE the rest of your life. You get to enjoy your family at home, instead of going for rounds and rounds of treatments which will do no good. You get to spend time talking about your life together, reminiscing about old memories, prepare the young people in your life for your passing, get to say all the things you needed to say to those you loved but never could.

If you’re well enough, do the things now that you didn’t get a chance to do before you get too weak. Visit your friends, write the letters, plan your funeral the way you want it. Maybe even make a video to tell them how much you love them.

So yes, it’s a bold step to refuse further treatment…but someone has to be strong enough to say out loud what everyone’s thinking anyway.

Enjoy what time you have. Don’t succumb to the only options doctors have to offer.