Category Archives: Sudden Death

The Mary Mac Show | When There Is No Funeral

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 123, we talk about how to handle our grief when there is no body to bury and/or what to do when it’s not possible or preferred to have a traditional funeral.

In most parts of the world and within most cultures, it is traditional to have a last event, a funeral, to honor the dead in our family.

But with the pandemic and with war raging in this world, that may not have been possible in the recent past or in the near future.

During World War II, families who helped liberate European countries were fortunate to even know where their loved one’s died.

And there are military cemeteries in many parts of the world who honored those families by burying their fathers, sons, brothers and other loved ones.

There is also the unexpectedness of not having a body to bury.

People who were blown away in tornadoes and could not be found.

Those who were murdered, possibly dismembered.

Those who died in fires, airplane crashes, though terrorism, war, drowning in the ocean or other bodies of water, run over by trains, found months or even years later and their body is decomposed.

Even from explosions in war, in building collapses, earthquakes and volcanoes where bodies could not be recovered, avalanches.

No one ever expects that their body will not be found and buried but this happens more than we know.

And with the high cost of a funeral (upward of $10,000 USD) many families don’t have the resources to do this.

So cremation is an alternative.

But what about a funeral?

Many people are opting to something different to still commemorate their loved ones and we speak about those various ways in this week’s episode.

Listen in to Episode 123 and leave a comment below how you chose to honor your loved one. What ceremonies worked for you?

Bless you my friend.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

You can obtain my free ebook entitled 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process, available for immediate download right here on this site.

If you need knowledge as to what to expect when you’re grieving, visit www.GriefAuthority.com and pick up my 3 Book Bundle of Hope which you can immediately download 24/7 anywhere in the world. It is important to not guess if what you’re feeling is part of this process. With my books, you will know what happens during this time so you’ll have your mind at ease. Go get them now.

If you are grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The Mary Mac Show | The Gift of Honesty

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 114, we discuss the very difficult emotions we encounter when a loved one’s death caused extreme embarrassment for you and the family and how to release that pain so you can build a new life.

Perhaps your loved one was experimenting or deep in opioid drugs, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl. Maybe they have been involved in gangs. Perhaps driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Involved in domestic abuse of their spouse or even decided to take their own life.

All of these situations are the direct result of their personal behavior and decisions they made in their lives.

And, unfortunately, they can bring great embarrassment to you after they have died.

In this week’s episode I delve in deep to the great pain you feel after they’ve died and left the mess they did for you.

To safe face, many families will not talk about what happened.

They will say things like they ‘accidentally overdosed’ or they will not disclose in their obituary how they died.

They will use words like ‘died unexpectedly’ but they never tell the entire story.

Now there are a lot of connotations to those two possibilities.

And it leaves people to wonder if the death was much worse than it really was.

A person could have ‘died unexpectedly’ in a car crash, heart attack, stroke, died in their sleep. So many ways. But none of those would cause the family to be embarrassed, now would they?

I guess I’m perplexed about how someone can ‘accidentally overdose’. They knew they were taking the drugs. They knew how much they were taking. They knew the risks involved with such powerful drugs. And when they reached out to a drug dealer, they knew they were putting themselves in great harm.

There wasn’t anything ‘accidental’ about it. And the possibility that they actually wanted to take their life using drugs still floats out there. But many families don’t want to entertain that thought.

When someone gets into a car and they’ve been drinking and drugging, they know the risk of killing others and themselves but that wasn’t their priority at that time. So when they kill others and themselves in that car crash, their family is devastated. Along with the family of those he or she killed with their recklessness.

If someone joined a gang, more than likely they had to prove themselves by killing someone, usually an innocent person. And then when they themselves are killed along the way, their family is embarrassed and distraught for what they did.

If a husband or wife is accustomed to beating on their spouse and this is a continual occurrence, and then one day they go too far and the battered spouse is killed, maybe to make the news in the papers, how difficult is it for the surviving family to endure.

Perhaps they took their own life, in so many manners – drugs, hung themselves, drove their car into a lake, stockpile, a huge truck. Suicide is not accidental by any means.

In this week’s episode I encourage survivors to get brutally honest about what really happened because if you’re still lying to yourself, you will stay stuck in your grief and not allow yourself to rebuild a life where you thrive.

So listen in to Episode 114 to learn ways to deal with this.

Blessings to you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | How To Create End of Life Choices

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 113, we consider the courageous act of developing an end-of-life plan for what we would like to happen should we become ill, unable to care for ourselves, or die and the decisions that need to be made so our families know of our desires.

It can be uncomfortable to speak with our loved ones about death and dying.

It can be even more uncomfortable when we need to speak about the specifics of what each individual wants for their end-of-life choices.

Many times it’s something dramatic that has taken place which makes us realize now is the time.

But please don’t wait until it’s so late that you don’t know what their wishes are.

Perhaps an accident or serious diagnosis wakes us up.

Yet what I encourage you to do is draw up the courage and speak about it now.

Would they want to be resusitated if they were at death’s door?

Would they not want to be resusitated and allowed to die as natural a death as possible?

Do they want to be cremated or buried and where?

Has a resting place already been chosen and paid for?

Do they want a wake and, if so, for how long?

Would they want a church funeral and, if so, where?

And have they developed a will? Who has possession of it and has an executor/executrix been named?

There are so many things that need to be considered for our end-of-life situation.

And the sooner they can be arranged and let others in the family know their wishes, the smoother their death will be for all concerned.

No, it is not easy getting these things in writing, but it is vital for a less drama-filled event after their death.

Bless you!
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | How To Speak About Death and Dying

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 112, we discuss how important it is to speak about death and dying preferably long before imminent death is upon ourselves, our relatives and loved ones.

In this day and age, we have no idea when terminal illness and death will visit ourselves or our family.

And since so much is uncertain with variants of a virus that has consumed so much of the past two years, not to mention how the vaccine has killed people, we live in a specifically uncertain time.

It is true that if we didn’t have to deal with this, we wouldn’t.

It is uncomfortable.

But there are many families who will never deal with the pandemic; their family members’ deaths might be after a long illness, in the case of cancer or an immune disorder.

It might be from a tragic accident, or sudden illness such as a stroke or heart attack that ends their life.

Many people find it hard to talk about death and dying.

We’d rather leave it up to someone else.

But don’t let fear stop you from truly connecting with someone you love either long before their final days, or leading up to them.

Sometimes death comes very quickly and it would be sad if you hadn’t had a conversation around death long before it ever occurred in your relationship with them.

If you had this conversation when they were well, or when they were diagnosed with an illness, you would capture a very wonderful connection with them.

There would be no regrets.

You would have said all you’d like to say to someone who meant so much to you.

We don’t know what the future holds these days. Life is so fragile now.

Take the time to think about this.

If it’s too sensitive to speak all you want to say aloud, do so in writing.

Either way, your soul will be at peace and no matter what happens in the future, you are settled.

Personally, I am thinking about writing out letters to the most important people in my life to acknowledge those who have helped me, loved me and let them know how grateful I feel to have them in my life.

With all that’s happening in this world, we could leave this life in an instant.

Use the time you have to make a difference.

Loving you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | Guilt After A Sudden Death

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 110, we look at the guilt we feel when someone we love has died suddenly and how we can help ourselves release this pain.

Sudden death leaves us in shock and despair.

We never thought they would die when we least expected it or in the manner they did.

It may have been an medical event, like a heart attack, stroke, aneurysm.

It may have been an accident, like a car accident, dying in a plane crash, falling from the roof, hit by a car or other such dramatic loss.

It may have been horrific as in the case of murder, suicide, drug overdose, even terrorism.

Or it may have been a military, law enforcement, firefighter, EMT or other first responder death.

However your loved one died, a sudden death leaves us overwhelmed and unable to believe when, where and how they died.

In this episode, we talk about the ways we can help ourselves after someone we love has died suddenly.

Bless you, my friend. My warrior!

xoxo

Additional Notes:

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions.

Learn the Emotional Freedom Technique here for Stress and Overwhelm. It will soothe you and calm you physically and emotionally. Also spend time in this guided meditation on Self Compassion, which we all need. Dr. Arianna also offers many wonderful tapping and guided-meditations to choose from based upon which is best for you.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Bach’s Rescue Remedy in the small yellow box is an excellent way to help yourself when youare overwhelmed. Just place a few drops on your tongue and relax. It doesn’t have alcohol in it, so if you are sensitive in this way, be aware. Available at your local healthfood store or online.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private list below, so we can always stay in touch. Since social media is no longer reliable, please complete the form below so I can connect with you via email.

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