Category Archives: Sudden Death

The Mary Mac Show | Trial By Fire

Since a large listening audience of The Mary Mac Show is from India, this story is one I want you to know about.

This week I learned about the horrific tragedy of the Krishnamoorthy family who endured the deaths of their 17 year-old daughter and 13 year-old son in a cinema fire in Delhi, India on June 13, 1997.

On that day, their children innocently went to catch a movie but they never returned home.

A raging fire broke out in the theatre and took the lives of 59 individuals and injured an additional 103.

And after 25 years, there has been no justice served on the two men, the Ansals who are real estate magnets there, and carry a great amount of weight in the community.

The reason this hits home for me is because not only did these parents, Neelam and her husband, Shekhar work tirelessly to find answers, gather the other families who also had family members die in the theatre, and push for justice, is because our family went through a similar fate.

Angela was 11 years old when she was murdered and it took us on an 18 year journey to solve her murder, and another two years to go to trial and convict him.

Along the way Shekhar wrote the story of their struggles and Penguin books published it.

Last week, Netflix released a 7 episode series on their long and painful journey as bereaved parents and what they did to find justice.

I welcome all my listeners to The Mary Mac Show and readers of my blog, to watch this series on Netflix and support it by giving it a thumbs-up as well as let others know of its existence.

It is deep, impactful and sad.

I can feel their feelings and found myself crying along the way.

We lived this in our own unique way.

One quarter century to seek justice for their two children.

Listen in to Episode 164 – my way of honoring this family and remembering those who died that day.

Bless them.

Additional Notes:

The Mary Mac Show | Placing Blame Where It Belongs

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 142, we discuss what happens when a loved one’s death caused extreme embarrassment for you and the family and how to release that pain so you can build a new life.

Maybe your loved one experimented or was deep into opioid drugs, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl. Maybe they have been involved in gangs. Perhaps driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Involved in domestic abuse of their spouse or even decided to take their own life.

All of these situations are the direct result of their personal behavior and decisions they made in their lives.

And, unfortunately, they can bring great embarrassment to you afterwards.

In this week’s episode I delve into the great pain you feel after they’ve died and left the mess they did for you.

To save face, many families will not talk about what happened.

They may tell all kinds of tails, especially to younger children, about how a person died. Maybe even telling them a family member died of cancer instead of AIDS, or an accident when it was suicide.

They will say things like they ‘accidentally overdosed’ or they will not disclose in their obituary how they died.

They will use words like ‘died unexpectedly’ but they never tell the entire story.

Now there are a lot of connotations to those two possibilities.

And it leaves people to wonder if the death was much worse than it really was.

A person could have ‘died unexpectedly’ in a car crash, heart attack, stroke, died in their sleep. So many ways. But none of those would cause the family to be embarrassed, now would they?

I guess I’m perplexed about how someone can ‘accidentally overdose’. They knew they were taking the drugs. They knew how much they were taking. They knew the risks involved with such powerful drugs. And when they reached out to a drug dealer, they knew they were putting themselves in great harm.

There wasn’t anything ‘accidental’ about it. And the possibility that they actually wanted to take their life using drugs still floats out there. But many families don’t want to entertain that thought.

When someone gets into a car and they’ve been drinking and taking drugs, they know the risk of killing others and themselves but that wasn’t their priority at that time. So when they kill others and themselves in that car crash, their family is devastated. Along with the family of those he or she killed with their recklessness.

If someone joined a gang, more than likely they had to prove themselves by killing someone, usually an innocent person. And then when they themselves are killed along the way, their family is embarrassed and distraught for what they did.

If a husband or wife is accustomed to beating on their spouse and this is a continual occurrence, and then one day they go too far and the battered spouse is killed, maybe to make the news in the papers, how difficult is it for the surviving family to endure.

Perhaps they took their own life, in so many manners – drugs, hung themselves, drove their car into a lake, stockpile, a huge truck or even used a gun to kill themselves. Suicide is not accidental by any means.

In this week’s episode I encourage survivors to get brutally honest about what really happened because if you’re still lying to yourself, you will stay stuck in your grief and not allow yourself to rebuild a life where you thrive.

So listen in to Episode 142 to learn ways to deal with this.

Blessings to you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to make a donation to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | When There Is No Funeral

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 123, we talk about how to handle our grief when there is no body to bury and/or what to do when it’s not possible or preferred to have a traditional funeral.

In most parts of the world and within most cultures, it is traditional to have a last event, a funeral, to honor the dead in our family.

But with the pandemic and with war raging in this world, that may not have been possible in the recent past or in the near future.

During World War II, families who helped liberate European countries were fortunate to even know where their loved one’s died.

And there are military cemeteries in many parts of the world who honored those families by burying their fathers, sons, brothers and other loved ones.

There is also the unexpectedness of not having a body to bury.

People who were blown away in tornadoes and could not be found.

Those who were murdered, possibly dismembered.

Those who died in fires, airplane crashes, though terrorism, war, drowning in the ocean or other bodies of water, run over by trains, found months or even years later and their body is decomposed.

Even from explosions in war, in building collapses, earthquakes and volcanoes where bodies could not be recovered, avalanches.

No one ever expects that their body will not be found and buried but this happens more than we know.

And with the high cost of a funeral (upward of $10,000 USD) many families don’t have the resources to do this.

So cremation is an alternative.

But what about a funeral?

Many people are opting to something different to still commemorate their loved ones and we speak about those various ways in this week’s episode.

Listen in to Episode 123 and leave a comment below how you chose to honor your loved one. What ceremonies worked for you?

Bless you my friend.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

You can obtain my free ebook entitled 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process, available for immediate download right here on this site.

If you need knowledge as to what to expect when you’re grieving, visit www.GriefAuthority.com and pick up my 3 Book Bundle of Hope which you can immediately download 24/7 anywhere in the world. It is important to not guess if what you’re feeling is part of this process. With my books, you will know what happens during this time so you’ll have your mind at ease. Go get them now.

If you are grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The Mary Mac Show | The Gift of Honesty

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 114, we discuss the very difficult emotions we encounter when a loved one’s death caused extreme embarrassment for you and the family and how to release that pain so you can build a new life.

Perhaps your loved one was experimenting or deep in opioid drugs, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl. Maybe they have been involved in gangs. Perhaps driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Involved in domestic abuse of their spouse or even decided to take their own life.

All of these situations are the direct result of their personal behavior and decisions they made in their lives.

And, unfortunately, they can bring great embarrassment to you after they have died.

In this week’s episode I delve in deep to the great pain you feel after they’ve died and left the mess they did for you.

To safe face, many families will not talk about what happened.

They will say things like they ‘accidentally overdosed’ or they will not disclose in their obituary how they died.

They will use words like ‘died unexpectedly’ but they never tell the entire story.

Now there are a lot of connotations to those two possibilities.

And it leaves people to wonder if the death was much worse than it really was.

A person could have ‘died unexpectedly’ in a car crash, heart attack, stroke, died in their sleep. So many ways. But none of those would cause the family to be embarrassed, now would they?

I guess I’m perplexed about how someone can ‘accidentally overdose’. They knew they were taking the drugs. They knew how much they were taking. They knew the risks involved with such powerful drugs. And when they reached out to a drug dealer, they knew they were putting themselves in great harm.

There wasn’t anything ‘accidental’ about it. And the possibility that they actually wanted to take their life using drugs still floats out there. But many families don’t want to entertain that thought.

When someone gets into a car and they’ve been drinking and drugging, they know the risk of killing others and themselves but that wasn’t their priority at that time. So when they kill others and themselves in that car crash, their family is devastated. Along with the family of those he or she killed with their recklessness.

If someone joined a gang, more than likely they had to prove themselves by killing someone, usually an innocent person. And then when they themselves are killed along the way, their family is embarrassed and distraught for what they did.

If a husband or wife is accustomed to beating on their spouse and this is a continual occurrence, and then one day they go too far and the battered spouse is killed, maybe to make the news in the papers, how difficult is it for the surviving family to endure.

Perhaps they took their own life, in so many manners – drugs, hung themselves, drove their car into a lake, stockpile, a huge truck. Suicide is not accidental by any means.

In this week’s episode I encourage survivors to get brutally honest about what really happened because if you’re still lying to yourself, you will stay stuck in your grief and not allow yourself to rebuild a life where you thrive.

So listen in to Episode 114 to learn ways to deal with this.

Blessings to you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | How To Create End of Life Choices

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 113, we consider the courageous act of developing an end-of-life plan for what we would like to happen should we become ill, unable to care for ourselves, or die and the decisions that need to be made so our families know of our desires.

It can be uncomfortable to speak with our loved ones about death and dying.

It can be even more uncomfortable when we need to speak about the specifics of what each individual wants for their end-of-life choices.

Many times it’s something dramatic that has taken place which makes us realize now is the time.

But please don’t wait until it’s so late that you don’t know what their wishes are.

Perhaps an accident or serious diagnosis wakes us up.

Yet what I encourage you to do is draw up the courage and speak about it now.

Would they want to be resusitated if they were at death’s door?

Would they not want to be resusitated and allowed to die as natural a death as possible?

Do they want to be cremated or buried and where?

Has a resting place already been chosen and paid for?

Do they want a wake and, if so, for how long?

Would they want a church funeral and, if so, where?

And have they developed a will? Who has possession of it and has an executor/executrix been named?

There are so many things that need to be considered for our end-of-life situation.

And the sooner they can be arranged and let others in the family know their wishes, the smoother their death will be for all concerned.

No, it is not easy getting these things in writing, but it is vital for a less drama-filled event after their death.

Bless you!
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!