Tag Archives: sudden death

The Mary Mac Show | Bereaved Mothers Podcast Series | Death of a Young Adult

In Episode 181, we continue our Bereaved Mothers Podcast Series featuring Raina of Southern California whose son Josiah had been diagnosed with cancer at 20 yet succumbed to a motorcycle accident at age 29.

A true creative, Josiah knew early in life that he wanted to perform.

And that’s exactly what he did.

But at the age of 20 he was having trouble breathing and a visit to the hospital proved a difficult diagnosis – hodgkins lymphoma.

Yet that didn’t stop Josiah.

He did everything he knew to cure his body through natural medicine, good food and much more.

And he succeeded.

And along the way, he learned flute and became a massage therapist.

Yet it was a motorcycle accident that ultimately took his life which was never expected.

In this episode, I am honored to welcome Raina Irene, Josiah’s mother, who shares her story of his life, diagnosis and death and with the wonderful support of her husband, Richard and children, Jeremy and Valerie, have coped with his death.

Watch my interview with Raina in video format below:

Visit Raina’s website – www.RainaIrene.love – to obtain her book, Because of Josiah, her cards and her blog.

Her Facebook Group – Sacred Alchemy/Lullaby Letters group for our Sacred Mommaz
~Sacred Alchemy~ {Lullaby Letters, Letters from Our Children in Spirit} | Facebook – www.facebook.com/groups/lullabyletters

And her Author page on Facebook – Raina’s Realm, Heart, Soul, Spirit Writer | www.facebook.com/gypsyraina

#childloss #deathofayoungadult #cancer #Josiah #RainaIrene #BecauseofJosiah #author

If you are aware of others who may need this knowledge, please share this post or our youtube interview with them, as well as on social media.

Much Love, my Warrior.
xoxo

Additional Notes – Some things that will help along this journey to ease the pain:

If you are having an especially difficult time emotionally, I recommend you speak with a specialist at a hotline near you. Here you will find hotlines all around the world. Trained counselors are there to listen, free of charge, to what’s going on with you. Take advantage of their great kindness. Vent with an objective individual. You don’t have to be ‘suicidal’ to call them, but if you are, that’s the best place to call. Don’t hestitate!

For parents and teens, there is an amazing resource where you can email or text counselors for help at The Boys Town National Hotline! Outstanding assistance for your children and you. You can also dial 988 for assistance.

Visit Julie’s EFT episodes on grief and she will teach you the Emotional Freedom Technique. Her videos calm your spirit and help you release emotional and physical pain as you move forward.

Here are some meditation music to help you rest.

You can order your Bach’s Rescue Remedy from most health food stores, either in person or online. Remember, these do have alcohol in them.

I use the Rescue Remedy 20ml drops but they have spray and other versions which might work better for you. And…they also have products to calm pets, too.

*To find a homeopathic doctor, visit here or here. Many offer phone consultations if you cannot find one in your area. They work with patients around the globe. You can also research in your area of the world.

Grab my free ebook, 21 Things You Need to Know About the Grieving Process, right here on my site.

Please share with anyone who may need this knowledge. Also subscribe, rate and review this podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

The Mary Mac Show | Bereaved Mothers Podcast Series | Death of a Teen

In Episode 180, we continue our Bereaved Mothers Podcast Series featuring Lisa of Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada whose daughter Katie was 17 when she was killed in a car accident in 2015.

It was December 8th and Katie, a devoted student, jutted out the door saying she’d be back soon.

But it was the knock at the door not long after by a police officer and coroner that would change their life forever. Katie had been killed in a car accident and Lisa, her husband and son’s life would never be the same.

In this interview, Lisa shares how life was before the accident and how life changed after it.

She courageously tells her family’s story since then and the challenge to keep a family strong while grieving.

Watch my interview with Lisa in video format below:

Join Lisa’s facebook page.

Lisa’s book Journey to Healing: A Mother’s Guide to Navigating Child Loss can be obtained through amazon.

Visit her website to learn more about her work and her community for Bereaved Mothers.

#childloss #deathofateen #caraccident #JourneytoHealingbook #author #lisakboehm

If you are aware of others who may need this knowledge, please share this post or our youtube interview with them, as well as on social media.

Much Love, my Warrior.
xoxo

Additional Notes – Some things that will help along this journey to ease the pain:

If you are having an especially difficult time emotionally, I recommend you speak with a specialist at a hotline near you. Here you will find hotlines all around the world. Trained counselors are there to listen, free of charge, to what’s going on with you. Take advantage of their great kindness. Vent with an objective individual. You don’t have to be ‘suicidal’ to call them, but if you are, that’s the best place to call. Don’t hestitate!

For parents and teens, there is an amazing resource where you can email or text counselors for help at The Boys Town National Hotline! Outstanding assistance for your children and you. You can also dial 988 for assistance.

Visit Julie’s EFT episodes on grief and she will teach you the Emotional Freedom Technique. Her videos calm your spirit and help you release emotional and physical pain as you move forward.

Here are some meditation music to help you rest.

You can order your Bach’s Rescue Remedy from most health food stores, either in person or online. Remember, these do have alcohol in them.

I use the Rescue Remedy 20ml drops but they have spray and other versions which might work better for you. And…they also have products to calm pets, too.

*To find a homeopathic doctor, visit here or here. Many offer phone consultations if you cannot find one in your area. They work with patients around the globe. You can also research in your area of the world.

Grab my free ebook, 21 Things You Need to Know About the Grieving Process, right here on my site.

Please share with anyone who may need this knowledge. Also subscribe, rate and review this podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

The Mary Mac Show | Dealing with Guilt after a Sudden Death

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 68, we discuss the guilt we may feel when someone we love has died suddenly and how we can help ourselves release this pain.

Sudden death leaves us in shock and despair.

We never thought they would die when we least expected it or in the manner they did.

It may have been an medical event, like a heart attack, stroke, aneurysm.

It may have been an accident, like a car accident, dying in a plane crash, falling from the roof, hit by a car or other such dramatic loss.

It may have been horrific as in the case of murder or suicide.

Or it may have been a military, law enforcement, firefighter, EMT or other first responder death.

However your loved one died, a sudden death leaves us overwhelmed and unable to believe when, where and how they died.

In this episode, we talk about the ways we can help ourselves after someone we love has died suddenly.

Bless you, my friend. My warrior!

xoxo

Additional Notes:

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions.

Learn the Emotional Freedom Technique here for Stress and Overwhelm. It will soothe you and calm you physically and emotionally. Also spend time in this guided meditation on Self Compassion, which we all need. Dr. Arianna also offers many wonderful tapping and guided-meditations to choose from based upon which is best for you.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Bach’s Rescue Remedy will calm and soothe you. Remember, it does have alcohol in if, if that is a concern for you.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private list below, so we can always stay in touch. Since social media is no longer reliable, please complete the form below so I can connect with you via email.

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9/11: Experiences, Reflections, Changes

I spent the summer of 2001 writing my book Understanding Your Grieving Heart After a Loved One’s Death. The evening before 9/11 I was developing the press plan and rejoicing because the printer had called that Monday to say the galleys had been shipped via UPS and I should expect them in a few days. Those books didn’t arrive for over four weeks.

Since I worked through the night, it was my former husband who woke me to the words, “Mar, I think you better get up…a plane has hit the World Trade Center.”

Stunned and still trying to wake up and comprehend what he said, something inside knew this was intensely serious and I jumped from bed and ran to the living room in our Central Florida home.

I remember standing there in the middle of the room with my mouth open and my hands covering it. I never sat down. We just stood there, almost at attention, in reverence of all that was happening to my beloved city where I lived most of my life.

I thought of all the people who worked in those towers and we estimated there would be nearly 25,000 people in each of them. Just the thought of losing 50,000 people was incomprehensible.

Being the video queen that I was back then, and to some degree still am, I immediately searched for VCR tapes (back then) and popped one in. I asked my husband to continue taping and we did just that, taping all the events for nearly a week.

There were times over the last ten years when I wanted to watch that footage again, but it was just too sad. Perhaps one day I will move it to DVD and have it available for a long lost weekend.

I started to think of all the people who might be there whom I knew. There were many.

First my cousin, Peter. He had been a FDNY firefighter for many years, like his father, my Uncle Pete before him, and had taken the Lieutenant’s test. It took a while to find out he was safe, but had lost so many of his friends that day.

He would spend weeks down at the Trade Center in the recovery effort and on the next Sunday was promoted to Lieutenant since so many had perished. It was a bittersweet moment and one our family will never forget. We still have the picture of him in his dress blues with his devoted and wonderfully supportive wife, Maureen by his side as he held his first daughter, Kaitlin, only a few years old then.

Later we would talk via instant messenger usually after midnight when he couldn’t sleep and I remember how difficult it was for him. And why wouldn’t it be. He had been to dozens of funerals and being such an amazing man, his heart was always so giving and loving toward everyone he knew and even those he didn’t.

To this day, I have such great respect for him and such deep appreciation for all he’s been through during the past ten years.

As the days passed, we heard about my cousin Sharon’s husband, Mike who lost his cousin. His aunt was devastated and although I never met her, I remember sending a bunch of my books for a fundraiser they did on Staten Island. I was glad to do that.

We also heard about my cousin’s husband, Brian, who works for Port Authority and lost many friends but also almost lost his life trying to get out of the towers, walking dozens of flights to safety.

Years later, I would hear his story in person when we had a chance to reflect, ironically when I was recovering from a life-threatening accident and he graciously would pick me up and bring me to church.

Both Brian and Peter were so steadfast in their willingness to help me when I was recovering from all those broken bones, and I will never forget their love and care for me.

Then there was my brother’s former girlfriend, Nina, who lost her brother Andrew in the towers. I stayed with her a few years after the tower fell when I moved back to NYC and I remember the two of us reminiscing about Andrew and his life and work and loves. She loved and missed him so much.

I also remember meeting and exchanging books with Julia Rathey, whose husband, David was killed in the towers that day. She had written a book entitled What Children Need When They Grieve which I thoroughly enjoyed and felt was so wonderfully written, not to mention all the help it brought to suffering families in the years following 9/11.

I was so happy when she shared, years later, that she would remarry a great guy named Gregg. She deserved to be happy again.

As I stood in the living room not moving, not speaking, in total shock, one of the things I started to remember was my pictures. I frantically started to search for them in my boxes.

I knew they were there…but where were they. You see I have celebrated three milestone in my life in the towers.

The night I finished my MBA from Fordham, my parents picked me up after the last exam and we enjoyed dinner together at Windows on the World, the restaurant at the top with the most magnificent view of the entire city.

I remember taking home the empty bottle of champagne and writing on it the date and place. That bottle was kept on the top shelf of my living room hutch for many years. I often wonder if I’ll find it one day among all my memorabilia in deep storage. That would be amazing.

Another memory was when I got engaged on the Observation Deck of the Twin Towers. While we had decided many months before to get married, it was on the 4th of July that he actually presented the ring and formally asked for my hand. We went to the restaurant afterwards and had champagne.

When my 40th Birthday rolled around, there was no other place I wanted to celebrate. Funny thing…I remember being in the elevator with Michael Bloomberg that night going up to Windows on the World. I knew immediately who he was, long before he entered politics.

It was those pictures especially I wanted to find. I dug and dug. I couldn’t find them fast enough. My husband kept asking me what I was looking for and I remember just flipping through hundreds of pictures until they finally appeared.

It was then I wept.

I handed them to him. The best two pictures we had inside the trade center. He took one of me and I one of him across the table celebrating my 40th Birthday. The lambchops arranged so perfectly on the plate…my favorite.

I looked at the booths we had been sitting in. I remembered the look of the restaurant, so open and elegant. I thought about how all those booths were now disintegrated. All that steel, and all those people who probably were serving breakfast that morning.

I have been back to the World Trade Center or as it was known “Ground Zero” a few times since 9/11/2001. The first time was on the 2005 anniversary when I was then living there again.

It was a most profound experience. One I will always remember.

It took nearly four weeks for the galleys to arrive for Understanding Your Grieving Heart which were originally shipped on 9/10, the day before our nation’s tragedy.

While waiting, I informed the printer to update the dedication. It now reads:

For those who love them so deeply
Miss them so desperately
Grieve for them so despondently
The tears of a nation join you.

Remembering those who perished on
Tuesday, September 11th, 2001

We pray blessings over the survivors of these attacks,
the rescue workers for their brave service to our people,
the canine rescuers for their devotion to help, protect and love us,
and the countless volunteers who heard the call and answered it

We will not back down
We will never forget

God Bless Our Great Land
and its people

Mary M. McCambridge (Ask Mary Mac) is the Founder and President of the Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., a Grief Coach and author of several award winning books and CD programs on bereavement. She resides in Central Florida.

How It All Began

About a half hour ago my printer spontaneously circled as if to print a document, but none had been requested. Whenever something like this occurs, being so in tune to spiritual happenings, I sat back to wonder what this was about.

After asking out loud for clarity, it occurred to me that on this day thirty-six years ago I lost the first person who ever meant anything to me. The first person who had made such an impact on my life and who, unknowingly, would usher me into this field of study and my profession.

At the tender age of 12, while he was 15, the nephew of my neighbor and I became close friends and he ultimately became the first ‘crush’ I experienced. And while Paul and I were looked upon as ‘forbidden’ because of the differences of our age, he was such a wonderful guy and friend who I cared for deeply.

We’d play Iron Butterfly’s songs and scream the lyrics across the room, help me babysit little ones, watch him study the guitar and try to master difficult songs, taught me wonderful dance steps and just had lots of fun laughing at his funny jokes. And like teenagers do, we stayed on the phone much too long and wrote silly letters to each other.

As fate would have it, he and his family moved away and we became penpals back then. Both he and I went on to meet other wonderful people, but his life would forever impact mine a few years later.

On this day, April 14, 1974 Paul was hit broadside and killed by a drunk driver at the tender age of 19 while pulling out of his driveway. I knew he died in the late afternoon, but when the printer circled at 4:35pm something made me believe it could have been just then.

So I sat back in my chair and just had this simple conversation with him as if his spirit was surrounding me at this very moment. And even all these years later, I filled up with tears because I can still see him in the coffin and how paralyzed I was sitting on the sofa in the funeral home looking at a person who had meant so much to me and it was not registering as to how he could possibly be dead at 19.

Over the years I have wondered how his family had been and what all became of them. I can only imagine how it affected his parents whom I didn’t get to see again.

But this little sign I believe he sent to me today had in its own way comforted me and reminded me that not only has he not forgotten me, but that no matter where we go in life, the people we love and have lost will always shown themselves to us. Their spirits live on.

This lovely, simple confirmation and remembrance today, for me, though bittersweet, reassures me that there is something after this life which we will all reach. And one day we will be greeted by all those who went on before us and when that happens what a heavenly party we’ll have!