Category Archives: Wisdom

Learning To Love Ourselves | The Mary Mac Show

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

This week, in Episode 150, we discuss how we can learn to love ourselves and allow others to love us through the pain of losing a loved one.

When we first experienced the death of a loved one, we are embraced by many people, usually at the end of their life, if they were ill and later at the funeral services that are developed.

Some may even stay with you for a week or so, while you get acclimated to functioning without them.

But you quickly learn that when they leave, you aren’t settled at all.

You struggle to balance a new life for yourself and your grief. That is part of the process.

You go through many emotional and physical challenges, maybe even financial challenges which take you down several roads, some of which you might not want to encounter.

But through all of this, there will come a time when you have to take the focus off of them and put it back on you.

You are entitled to love yourself through all this pain.

To recognize that no matter what is happening YOU ARE ENOUGH just the way you are.

One of my favorite teachers is Marissa Peer who teaches us that we are enough at every place in our life.

And it is this wisdom that will help you along your journey because it’s important that we not stay stuck in grief forever.

Some people do this and decide that if our loved one is not with us any longer, they can no long have a wonderful life.

And I don’t want that for you.

Please don’t wear the black veil forever.

And, I know, you won’t be physically wearing it on your head, but you know you’re wearing it over your heart.

Let others love you.

Let yourself love you!

No matter what happened, and how they died, at some point consciously take off that veil and tell your loved one you love them and it’s now time for you.

Bless you my friend, my warrior!

xoxo

Additional Notes:

Marisa Peer’s “Loving Yourself” and I Am Enough, and a compilation of other wonderful videos on this topic – must watch!

Visit this compilation of loving yourself EFT videos by Julie Schiffman who will teach you the Emotional Freedom Technique. Her videos calm your spirit and help you release emotional and physical pain as you move forward.

Here are some meditation music video choices to help you rest.

Grab my free ebook, 21 Things You Need to Know About the Grieving Process, right here on my site.

Visit GriefAuthority.com for my 3 book Bundle of Hope set to help you through your grieving process.

Also, thank you for your donations to support my podcast by clicking on the cup right here on the website. It is much appreciated.

Please share with anyone who may benefit from this knowledge. Also subscribe, rate and review this podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

The Mary Mac Show | Placing Blame Where It Belongs

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 142, we discuss what happens when a loved one’s death caused extreme embarrassment for you and the family and how to release that pain so you can build a new life.

Maybe your loved one experimented or was deep into opioid drugs, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl. Maybe they have been involved in gangs. Perhaps driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Involved in domestic abuse of their spouse or even decided to take their own life.

All of these situations are the direct result of their personal behavior and decisions they made in their lives.

And, unfortunately, they can bring great embarrassment to you afterwards.

In this week’s episode I delve into the great pain you feel after they’ve died and left the mess they did for you.

To save face, many families will not talk about what happened.

They may tell all kinds of tails, especially to younger children, about how a person died. Maybe even telling them a family member died of cancer instead of AIDS, or an accident when it was suicide.

They will say things like they ‘accidentally overdosed’ or they will not disclose in their obituary how they died.

They will use words like ‘died unexpectedly’ but they never tell the entire story.

Now there are a lot of connotations to those two possibilities.

And it leaves people to wonder if the death was much worse than it really was.

A person could have ‘died unexpectedly’ in a car crash, heart attack, stroke, died in their sleep. So many ways. But none of those would cause the family to be embarrassed, now would they?

I guess I’m perplexed about how someone can ‘accidentally overdose’. They knew they were taking the drugs. They knew how much they were taking. They knew the risks involved with such powerful drugs. And when they reached out to a drug dealer, they knew they were putting themselves in great harm.

There wasn’t anything ‘accidental’ about it. And the possibility that they actually wanted to take their life using drugs still floats out there. But many families don’t want to entertain that thought.

When someone gets into a car and they’ve been drinking and taking drugs, they know the risk of killing others and themselves but that wasn’t their priority at that time. So when they kill others and themselves in that car crash, their family is devastated. Along with the family of those he or she killed with their recklessness.

If someone joined a gang, more than likely they had to prove themselves by killing someone, usually an innocent person. And then when they themselves are killed along the way, their family is embarrassed and distraught for what they did.

If a husband or wife is accustomed to beating on their spouse and this is a continual occurrence, and then one day they go too far and the battered spouse is killed, maybe to make the news in the papers, how difficult is it for the surviving family to endure.

Perhaps they took their own life, in so many manners – drugs, hung themselves, drove their car into a lake, stockpile, a huge truck or even used a gun to kill themselves. Suicide is not accidental by any means.

In this week’s episode I encourage survivors to get brutally honest about what really happened because if you’re still lying to yourself, you will stay stuck in your grief and not allow yourself to rebuild a life where you thrive.

So listen in to Episode 142 to learn ways to deal with this.

Blessings to you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to make a donation to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | Considering End of Life Choices

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 138, we discuss the courageous act of developing an end-of-life plan for what we would like to happen should we become ill, unable to care for ourselves, or die and the decisions that need to be made so our families know of our desires.

It is not easy to speak with our loved ones about death and dying.

It can be even harder when we need to speak about the specifics of what each individual wants for their end-of-life choices.

Often times, it can be something sudden and dramatic that has taken place which makes us realize now is the time.

But please be wise and not wait until it’s so late that you don’t know what their wishes are.

Perhaps an serious diagnosis or accident wakes us up.

Yet I encourage you to do is draw up the courage and speak about it now.

Would they want to be resusitated if they were at death’s door?

Would they not want to be resusitated and allowed to die as natural a death as possible?

If they are in hospice, do they want to die at home or in the hospital?

Do they want to be cremated or buried and where?

Has a resting place already been chosen and paid for?

Do they want a wake and, if so, for how long?

Would they want a church funeral and, if so, where?

And have they developed a will? Who has possession of it and who has been named as an executor/executrix?

There are so many things that need to be considered for our end-of-life situation.

And the sooner they can be arranged and let others in the family know their wishes, the smoother their death will be for all concerned.

No, it is not easy getting these things in writing, but it is vital for a less drama-filled event after their death.

Gather your courage and have those conversations now.

Bless you!
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

The Mary Mac Show Encore | Grieving a World We Once Knew II

The Mary Mac Show PodcastIn Episode 135 Part I of “Grieving a World We Once Knew” we discussed the uncertainties in our world, inflation, pandemic issues, and how we must reevaluate what is important to us and how to cope when we have little control over our new world.

When we are dealing with a loved one’s death, it is expected that we will experience various challenges to our physical health, mental health, financial health, spiritual health and intellectual health.

And now that we have the additional stress, anxiety and possible overwhelm with our society changing at such a rapid pace, it is that much more important that we look at how it is affecting us in addition to the grief we feel for our loved one.

Don’t take this lightly.

It is imperative that you care for yourself and your family during these times.

We unfortunately do not have the luxury of only considering our bereavement. We are now tasked with learning how to fully care for ourselves in many way.

Listen in to Part II in Episode 136, to learn how to better prepare yourself for the times ahead.

Please take time to share your experiences and comments below so others can learn from you.

Stay Strong and Bless you my friend.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

As you know I am a great believer in the power of the Emotional Freedom Technique.

Here are a few videos that I think will help you tremendously:
EFT Video for Grief after Death of a Loved One, EFT Video for Anxiety, EFT Video for Releasing Stress and Tension, and How to do Surrogate EFT.

Subscribe to Full Spectrum Survival, which gives important information on how to survive what we believe is up ahead for us. Learn as much as you can, as quickly as you can. And stock up on food, water and supplies.

If you need someone to chat with, don’t be shy. It’s totally confidential. Go to Crisis Connections page on my website MaryMac.info to find telephone numbers for Crisis Hotlines around the world.

As promised, here are some of the additional faith-based hotlines you can call for prayer and to calm you:

Trinity Broadcasting Network – TBN (714)731-1000
700 Club (800)759-0700
Joel Osteen Prayer Request (713)491-1283 or toll free at (888)567-5635
(I also enjoy Joel Osteen’s Daily Podcast)

If you need help finding people who will understand your exact pain, visit my Grief Resources page.

Visit GriefAuthority.com to purchase my Bundle of Hope Books which includes my book Understanding Your Grieving Heart After a Loved One’s death, the first and best book to reach for as you deal with your grief and How to Help a Grieving Child After a Loved One’s Death to help your surviving children.

You’re welcome to send your questions to the Contact page on my site.

You can obtain my free ebook entitled 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process, available for immediate download right here on this site.

Please subscribe, rate and review on The Mary Mac Show website or Apple Podcasts!

Much Love,
xoxo

The Mary Mac Show | Trusting Life’s Timing

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

This week in Episode 115, we speak about trusting life’s timing.

We can never predict when someone we love will pass on.

Even when a doctor gives a prognosis, it’s never right.

Because the only person who knows the exact day and time is God. And a doctor is not God.

We also cannot predict the length of our severe grief after they have died.

Every one of us has no set time frame.

It all has to do with the significance of the relationship we shared with that person. Never the label; always the relationship.

So trust yourself that you know what you need when you’re grieving.

Others may want you to speed up the process, but you must decide that as you move forward.

Listen in for some perspective.

Additional Notes:

Here are some meditation music to help you rest.

Grab my free ebook, 21 Things You Need to Know About the Grieving Process, right here on my site.

Please share with anyone who may need this knowledge. Also subscribe, rate and review this podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

xoxo