Tag Archives: holiday grief

The Mary Mac Show | How to Prepare for the Holidays I

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In this week’s episode, we discuss what to expect during the holiday season after a loved one’s death and how to help ourselves through the pain and overwhelm.

No matter which holidays we celebrate, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Years, or many others after a loved one has died or was killed, the holidays just won’t feel the same as previous years.

For those who are dealing with their first holiday season, it can be especially difficult.

Trying to feel happy and enjoying the seasons as you did in the past, can be a difficult task.

The main thing to know is that you don’t have to do all you’ve done in the past.

You can decide on a different path. You can curtail your events and celebrations this year and there is nothing wrong with that.

Your emotional state is different now and you must be sensitive to that and treat yourself with more care.

Whereas you might have handled all the cooking, cleaning, baking and hosting, this year it might be better to let another family member take the lead. And you simply attend the event/s and take the stress off of yourself.

And remember to pick up my ebook Holiday Grief: How To Cope With Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death right here on my site on the left hand margin to help you.

Remember to be good to yourself, my warrior. Let others help you through this difficult time.

Additional Notes:

Learn EFT to calm your intense emotions. Visit here.

Meditation Videos to help you rest. Choose which resonate with you.

Please share with anyone you know who might benefit from this knowledge. Also subscribe to my podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

xoxo

The Mary Mac Show | Christmas and Hanukkah Gatherings with Family and Friends

The Mary Mac Show PodcastIn Episode 3, I delve into how to handle Christmas and Hanukkah with family and friends and Holiday Grief.

I also talk about how to help your children during this time of year.

Children are most vulnerable after a loved one’s death and need you to comfort, guide, and be close.

They are hurting too and need attention. If you are busy, do have a trusted friend be attentive to them.

This week, especially, be kind to yourself. Take the time you need for yourself.

And honor your loved one during gatherings in some way. I speak about many ways to do that.

Go to The Mary Mac Show and download Episode 3. Subscribing is the easiest way to insure you’ll always get my podcast each Sunday morning.

May this week bring you joy concentrating on the memories of your loved one and even if you cry or have mixed emotions, celebrate their life. Focus on the good, happy moments you shared with them rather than what you don’t have.

Reach for something that will make you smile or laugh.

I’ll be thinking of you this week.

May you have a wonderful Hanukkah and Merry Christmas.

xoxo

Holiday Grief: Invitations

holiday_grief_hi_res JPG Cover FINALHoliday Grief Tip # 3

Each year we receive numerous invitations to gather with family and friends. And when you’re in the thick of grieving a loved one’s death or other significant loss, there is always an uneasiness as to how to handle these invitations.

Sometimes you’ll feel especially interested in getting out and seeing everyone again. Sometimes you think there is no way you could get yourself energized enough to partake in these events.

There is a solution. If you have a business party or dinner, family or friend gathering, you can simply accept the invitation with conditions.

Let your host know that this has been a difficult time of year since the death of your spouse, child, etc. and tell them you’d like to accept their kind invitation on the condition that if you feel it’s just too much for you on that day, that they will understand your not making it to the event.

You might also add that if you do come by and feel it’s too much for you, you might choose to leave a little earlier and hope that would also be acceptable to them.

This way you have an out, either way. You can attend and leave early or you can decide against it at the last minute.

Either way you have at least graciously communicated with your host and let them know you appreciated their gesture, while reducing your anxiety and stress during the holiday season.

My book Holiday Grief: How To Cope with Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death is available now by clicking here.

How have you handled Christmas/Holiday invitation during your grieving process?

Holiday Grief: To Tree or Not to Tree

holiday_grief_hi_res JPG Cover FINALHoliday Grief – Tip # 2

Often times when we are facing Christmas without our loved one, especially if it’s the first holiday season since their death, we ponder whether it is worth our time and energy, and sometimes our money, to put a tree up with all the decorations.

Perhaps you want to simply skip the holiday all together…after all, it would be so much easier, wouldn’t it?

But when it comes to deciding on a tree or to forgo this tradition, at least this year, you’d want to consider whom that decision might impact the most.

If you have children who are grieving the death of a parent or sibling, it might be wise to have a family meeting and softly discuss what you are thinking and get their feedback on your ideas. You might be wildly surprised to learn that they want Christmas to remain exactly as it has been in years past because they don’t want any traditions changed.

They might be feeling that the person who died would want them to celebrate just as you did in the past.

And if that is too much for you, there are options.

Maybe the compromise is a smaller tree with fewer lights and ornaments.

Maybe you can use a plant, instead, and decorate it with a strand of tiny white lights and instead of ornaments use red silk ribbon tied in soft bows that you just lay on the leaves.

Maybe the children would like to put up a small tree in their room and decorate the way they wish.

There are so many options. Put your thinking cap on, get ideas from your family and friends and, most of all, don’t discard the feelings and wishes of your spouse and children.

My book Holiday Grief: How To Cope with Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death is available now by clicking here.

Let us know how you’ve remembered your loved one during the holiday season by commenting below.

Holiday Grief: My Story by Michelle Enis Vasquez, San Antonio, TX

Brian and MichelleI have been widowed twice.

I put up my Christmas tree two weeks ago. On Thanksgiving, my beloved Brian will have been gone eight weeks. He died October 3, 2013.

I decided that the Christmas tree would be a memorial to him, and I got a whole bunch of purple ornaments (our favorite color) and some British ornaments, and other ornaments that reminded me of our time together.

My beloved husband, Al, died in 2007. I have ornaments from years past to honor his memory, and I added a few more this year. I also found two angels that did not look like women (hard to find) and put them close together, symbolizing my two guardian angels, Al and Brian, who are looking after me.

I turn on those lights when I wake up and keep them on until I go to bed. I need a bit of cheer at this very difficult time.

Michelle Enis Vasquez lives in San Antonio, Texas. This picture was taken on a cruise to Alaska they enjoyed just a month before his death in October, 2013. Michelle also recently baked a cake to honor her two angels.