Tag Archives: holidays

The Mary Mac Show | New Year, New Decade, New Life

The Mary Mac Show PodcastIn Episode 4, we begin to look at each area of your life and consider what you want for yourself in this new year instead of what you don’t want.

So often when we feel so badly after a loved one’s death, we simply cannot fathom how we will find a way to build a new life for ourselves.

Sometimes we don’t feel we are entitled to develop something new for ourselves.

But if we don’t consider what our life might look like, especially as we begin a new year and new decade, we will simply slump or continue slumping into a despair which can overtake us.

And I’m sure you might feel you are entitled to that despair, but what if you thought a bit differently? What if you decided they would want you to still live a meaningful life?

So in this episode, I not only continue encouraging you to keep up with your gratitude journal, but now start to consider what you might like to change or do in the new year.

Go to The Mary Mac Show and download Episode 4. Subscribing is the easiest way to insure you’ll always get my podcast each Sunday morning.

I hope you will take the time to do the exercises I give you in this episode.

You have a choice – to live in despair or begin something new. I choose ‘new’ for you.

Send me your comments by clicking on “Read More” after each episode. Or just simply leave them below.

And I wish you a comforted New Year!

Blessings to you.

xoxo

The Mary Mac Show | Preparing for Christmas and Hanukkah

The Mary Mac Show PodcastIn Episode 2, I delve into how to best prepare yourself for the year-end holidays, Christmas and Hanukkah.

The very best thing you can do for yourself is to consider what you are capable of, what brings you joy, how to decrease stress surrounding gifts, decorating, baking, invitations, etc.

What you did last year or in years past, may not be practical this year. It may just be too much for you and that’s alright.

I also discuss how to talk to family and friends to discuss how they can help you at this time.

Go to The Mary Mac Show and download Episode 2. Subscribing is the easiest way to insure you’ll always get my podcast each Sunday morning.

An Uncommon Valentine’s Day

avatar-heartEveryday life after losing your spouse or sweetheart can be quite difficult. But handling holidays such as Valentine’s Day can be unnerving.

We start to see the advertisements on television for roses, jewelry and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate weeks before this day. Restaurants feature special dinners for two on that evening. And when you were paired with someone you love, chances are good these ads didn’t affect you.

But they do now.

The anticipation of a significant holiday or date such as the anniversary of your loved one’s death or their birthday can bring many emotions that we might not have expected. But please know that they are natural and normal.

Most of us feel such intensity around holidays because we are sad that we can no longer enjoy the closeness, experiences and love we once shared with our honey.

Some of us also are angry that they died before us. Others of us struggle with the unfairness to the point of cloistering ourselves in an effort to never be hurt again.

But there comes a time when we consciously accept that we are still alive and if we were supposed to go first, then we would have. And since this is the way things have turned out, why not live life to the fullest.

When that turn in thinking eventually arrives, it can gloriously begin a guilt-free new life whereby you take a long deep breath and with a loving kiss planted on their picture, you decide to consider new adventures.

It doesn’t mean you don’t miss them. It doesn’t mean you will not honor their memory for your children’s sake. It only means that you are now beginning a new and perhaps a somewhat scary life where the unknown awaits.

And that is a good thing.

So on Valentine’s Day, find the right thing that will make you happy. Is it the chocolate-covered pretzels, cherries or strawberries? Shall you get that massage you have been promising yourself because you miss your husband’s touch?

Will you finally accept your buddies’ invitation for a round of golf and lunch instead of sitting in front of the television alone?

Will you decide to give a little time to someone who is hurting like you and share a candlelit dinner together with a funny movie?

Or is it, perhaps, time to give that little soul at the animal rescue shelter a new life with you?

Even if you find yourself melancholy at times, no need to be embarrassed. Those who love you know this transition has not been easy for you.

So accept that kind pat on the back or hug, accept all the well wishes of those who love and care for you and remember that your sweetheart would want you to enjoy your life. Their love for you will never die.

Christmas 2013

Christmas Balls on Sixth AveOn this Christmas Day, 2013, I wish to thank all my followers for their dedication as well as those who visit my site.

May your holiday season bring much happiness to you and your family.

And if you are missing someone special this year, I hope you will find a bit of comfort in sharing your stories, especially those which will bring a smile to your face…even a chuckle.

You are always in my thoughts…

Holiday Grief: Invitations

holiday_grief_hi_res JPG Cover FINALHoliday Grief Tip # 3

Each year we receive numerous invitations to gather with family and friends. And when you’re in the thick of grieving a loved one’s death or other significant loss, there is always an uneasiness as to how to handle these invitations.

Sometimes you’ll feel especially interested in getting out and seeing everyone again. Sometimes you think there is no way you could get yourself energized enough to partake in these events.

There is a solution. If you have a business party or dinner, family or friend gathering, you can simply accept the invitation with conditions.

Let your host know that this has been a difficult time of year since the death of your spouse, child, etc. and tell them you’d like to accept their kind invitation on the condition that if you feel it’s just too much for you on that day, that they will understand your not making it to the event.

You might also add that if you do come by and feel it’s too much for you, you might choose to leave a little earlier and hope that would also be acceptable to them.

This way you have an out, either way. You can attend and leave early or you can decide against it at the last minute.

Either way you have at least graciously communicated with your host and let them know you appreciated their gesture, while reducing your anxiety and stress during the holiday season.

My book Holiday Grief: How To Cope with Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death is available now by clicking here.

How have you handled Christmas/Holiday invitation during your grieving process?