Tag Archives: homicide

The Mary Mac Show | When You Couldn’t Say Goodbye

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

This week, on my podcast, we discuss what we go through when we couldn’t say goodbye to someone we loved.

Whether it’s Covid and we weren’t allowed in a hospital or healthcare setting, or earthquakes, avalanches, tornadoes, floods, fires, hurricanes, tsunami, cyclones, explosions, car or plane crashes, all these prevent us to say goodbye if we were not present at these scenes.

There were also sudden death like heart attacks, strokes, homicide, suicide, even terrorism.

And we must remember all the military deaths, especially their bodies were so mutilated or affected by an explosion and there were only small parts or nothing to bury. Many of our men and women, who sacrificed their life for your freedom, never came home at all.

Join me in listening in to Episode 39 to take a look at how to deal with our grief when we couldn’t be with them when they died.

Additional Notes:

Visit Brad Yates’ youtube channel will teach you the Emotional Freedom Technique. His videos calm your spirit and help you release emotional and physical pain as you move forward. Here are two specific videos that will help you.

Marisa Peer’s “Loving Yourself” and “I Am Enough” – these are wonderful videos – must watch!

Here are some meditation music video choices to help you rest.

Grab my free ebook, 21 Things You Need to Know About the Grieving Process, right here on my site.

Also, I hope you will help support my podcast by using the links on my page at www.MaryMac.info! It would be much appreciated.

Please share with anyone who may need to know this. Also subscribe, rate and review this podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

xoxo

The Mary Mac Show | Unnecessary Deaths

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

This week in Episode 30, we discuss the irresponsible acts that individuals take that lead to their own deaths or the deaths of others and how we are left to cope with their recklessness.

When someone in our family or a friend commits a reckless act, it can lead to tragedy.

Whether that act causes others’ deaths or their own, it leaves the surviving families distraught, overwhelmed with feelings of remorse, regret, bitterness, guilt, and many other emotions.

Things that will help:

Visit Brad Yates’ youtube channel will teach you the Emotional Freedom Technique. His videos calm your spirit and help you release emotional and physical pain as you move forward.

Here are some meditation music to help you rest.

You can order your Bach’s Rescue Remedy by clicking on the link below and then tab at the top of their page for Rescue Remedy Products. Remember, these do have alcohol in them.

I use the Rescue Remedy 20ml drops but they have spray and other versions which might work better for you. And…they also have products to calm pets, too.

*To find a homeopathic doctor, visit here or here. Many offer phone consultations if you cannot find one in your area. They work with patients around the globe. You can also research in your area of the world.

Please share with anyone who may need to know this. Also rate and review this podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

xoxo

Dealing with the Homicide of a Loved One

Real Perspectives LogoAs many of you may know, many years ago my former husband’s daughter was murdered at the age of 11. This brought us on an 18 year journey to find her killer and another two years to see him brought to justice.

Recently I was a guest on LaTonya Moore’s radio show, Real Perspectives, where the conversation moved into how to not only handle grief after a murder, but other advice for how to more effectively move through the grieving process regardless of how your loved one died.

If you are dealing with the homicide death of a loved one, you may wish to listen in here.

30 Years Ago Today…

101When I look back on my life, there are a few days that stand out with such significance that I can’t help but acknowledge them, regardless of the pain.

And while there are happy days I can recall, like when I completed both my degrees, when I was given wonderful awards for my work, when my books were published, there are several difficult days that I’ve lived that caused me and those I’ve loved great trauma.

One was the death of my beloved grandmother, who lived, almost exclusively, a healthy life till her death at 93. She was my anchor when life handed me difficult times while growing up.

Another was my little dog, Daisy, who brought me so much joy every day for almost 13 years. My constant companion, she was always there to snuggle with when I needed her most.

But there was one particular day that, when I look back on my life, shaped and changed who I was and, even though I had helped so many in my life before who had struggled with bereavement, it was her death that catapulted me into leading support groups, writing books, speaking, and starting a national foundation for grieving children.

107She is Angela.

A 10 year old who came into my life when I met her father. Her older brother was then 13 and younger just 9.

I remember her bubbly personality, her courage to ask me those most pressing questions you’d never think would come out of the mouth of such a young lady. But I answered every one and she went away satisfied.

Many who knew her longer than I described her as a firecracker. And for the short time I knew her, they were right.

I specifically remember how much she loved shopping together. How she couldn’t choose between the pink or blue cotton candy.

Or the last holiday she and her younger brother spent with us. It was Easter, 1984 and I made a special dinner for us.

At one point after dinner we took a long walk together. I wanted to purchase film that day to take a few pictures but we didn’t pick it up. And that moment was lost to me forever.

Angela at 11; her last school picture.Because just a few short months later on this day in 1984, that bright, bubbly young girl was murdered on Long Island.

And what followed were 18 years of an unsolved murder.

It took until 2002 to have enough evidence to charge the initial suspect and another two years to go to trial.

We endured a six-week emotional rollercoaster from the time they began picking a jury for her 20 year old murder, to the time he was convicted.

I often wonder what life would have been like if she were still here with us. Would she have been in my bridal party when her father and I married?

Would she have studied for a college degree? And what career might she have chosen?

Would she have married and had children? How many would she have had and what would they have looked like?

But today, I guess there is a part of me that, as my stepson texted me today, which says “I can’t believe it’s been 30 years.”

And he is so right.

Rest in Peace, Angela. You were with us for far too short a time, but the impact you had on our lives, both in life and death, will remain forever.

Sandy Hook, Newtown, CT: One Year Later

The first anniversary of the Sandy Hook school shooting in Newtown, CT holds difficult emotions for the families, friends and school staff, as well as its community. Dealing with the pain of loss for the first full year is never easy.

When we approach an anniversary, we relive all the little moments before the tragedy and try to trick ourselves into thinking that person is still with us. On the days leading up to the anniversary, we, at least, get to think “the week before we were baking Christmas cookies” or “the day before we were decorating the tree.”

But once the actual first anniversary occurs, we don’t get to have that luxury any longer and we can’t fool ourselves. We can no longer say, at this time last year we were doing this or that. And that reality bring sorrow.

The first anniversary is never an easy day to live through but sometimes the anticipation is much more stressful than the actual happenings of the day itself.

I’ve known so many families (and I’ve had this experience, too) tell me they made the experiences of the day so much greater in their head than they turned out to be.

They thought they’d be devastated, but somehow it turned out to be a lot lighter than they thought it would be. It became a day of remembering the person, than how they died.

It became a day of thinking of all the fun times they spent together and being grateful for those times instead of allowing themselves to succumb to the events of that day.

So my thoughts are with the families of this small Connecticut town today and do hope that they can look for the happiness they held in the relationship they shared with their loved one and not the way they died.

Yes, it can be hard, but moving toward gratitude for those happy years spent together, will always outweigh a moment in time that can never be changed.

To read my blogs from last year when this tragedy occurred, go here. As a stepmother of an 11 year old who was murdered, I wrote them from the perspective of a grieving mother of a murdered victim.