Category Archives: Social Challenges

The Mary Mac Show | The Gift of Honesty

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 114, we discuss the very difficult emotions we encounter when a loved one’s death caused extreme embarrassment for you and the family and how to release that pain so you can build a new life.

Perhaps your loved one was experimenting or deep in opioid drugs, heroin, cocaine, fentanyl. Maybe they have been involved in gangs. Perhaps driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Involved in domestic abuse of their spouse or even decided to take their own life.

All of these situations are the direct result of their personal behavior and decisions they made in their lives.

And, unfortunately, they can bring great embarrassment to you after they have died.

In this week’s episode I delve in deep to the great pain you feel after they’ve died and left the mess they did for you.

To safe face, many families will not talk about what happened.

They will say things like they ‘accidentally overdosed’ or they will not disclose in their obituary how they died.

They will use words like ‘died unexpectedly’ but they never tell the entire story.

Now there are a lot of connotations to those two possibilities.

And it leaves people to wonder if the death was much worse than it really was.

A person could have ‘died unexpectedly’ in a car crash, heart attack, stroke, died in their sleep. So many ways. But none of those would cause the family to be embarrassed, now would they?

I guess I’m perplexed about how someone can ‘accidentally overdose’. They knew they were taking the drugs. They knew how much they were taking. They knew the risks involved with such powerful drugs. And when they reached out to a drug dealer, they knew they were putting themselves in great harm.

There wasn’t anything ‘accidental’ about it. And the possibility that they actually wanted to take their life using drugs still floats out there. But many families don’t want to entertain that thought.

When someone gets into a car and they’ve been drinking and drugging, they know the risk of killing others and themselves but that wasn’t their priority at that time. So when they kill others and themselves in that car crash, their family is devastated. Along with the family of those he or she killed with their recklessness.

If someone joined a gang, more than likely they had to prove themselves by killing someone, usually an innocent person. And then when they themselves are killed along the way, their family is embarrassed and distraught for what they did.

If a husband or wife is accustomed to beating on their spouse and this is a continual occurrence, and then one day they go too far and the battered spouse is killed, maybe to make the news in the papers, how difficult is it for the surviving family to endure.

Perhaps they took their own life, in so many manners – drugs, hung themselves, drove their car into a lake, stockpile, a huge truck. Suicide is not accidental by any means.

In this week’s episode I encourage survivors to get brutally honest about what really happened because if you’re still lying to yourself, you will stay stuck in your grief and not allow yourself to rebuild a life where you thrive.

So listen in to Episode 114 to learn ways to deal with this.

Blessings to you.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

If my podcast has helped you, I’d love for you to buy me a coffee to show your support! Thanks!

The Mary Mac Show | Preparing For The Holiday Season I

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In this week’s episode, we discuss how to prepare yourself as we encounter the year-end holidays.

No matter which ones you celebrate, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Years, or many others after a loved one has died, they just don’t feel the same.

For those who are dealing with their first holiday season, it can be especially difficult.

Trying to feel happy and enjoying the seasons as you did in the past, can be a difficult task.

The main thing to know is that you don’t have to do all you’ve done in the past.

You can decide on a different path. You can curtail your events and celebrations this year and there is nothing wrong with that.

Your emotional state is different now and you must be sensitive to that and treat yourself with more care.

Whereas you might have handled all the cooking, cleaning, baking and hosting, this year it might be better to let another family member take the lead. And you simply attend and take the stress off of yourself.

And remember to pick up my ebook Holiday Grief: How To Cope With Stress, Anxiety and Depression After a Loved One’s Death right here on my site on the left hand margin to help you.

Remember to be good to yourself, my warrior. Let others help you.

Additional Notes:

Learn EFT to calm your intense emotions. Visit here.

Meditation Videos to help you rest. Choose which resonate with you.

Please share with anyone you know who might benefit from this knowledge. Also subscribe to my podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

xoxo

The Mary Mac Show | Grieving The World We Once Knew

The Mary Mac Show PodcastIn Episode 100, we discuss the uncertainties in our world, inflation, pandemic issues, and how we must reevaluate what is important to us and how to cope when we have little control over our new world.

If you are grieving a loved one’s death, then grieving the world we once knew will be a double blow.

And if you are grieving the life you once knew, this may be unfamiliar territory for you. It might be the first time you’ve dealt with changes beyond your control.

It is definitely sad to think that our world has changed so much since the inception of the coronavirus in early 2020.

It led us to lockdowns all across the world. It stopped us from traveling across the globe for business or pleasure.

It prohibited us from doing pretty much everything, even visiting with friends or family.

We found ourselves isolated and fearful to live life.

We saw many people die of the virus, some whom were our own kin.

And now, one and a half years later, governments, politicians and the media want to control you with mandatory vaccines, the ability to attending events like concerts, enjoy restaurants in certain cities, even prohibit you from some airlines and employment.

This new world that is being shaped by people who want to control you is not the world we once knew and in today’s podcast, it was time to address how it affects us as we grieve.

The build up of losses, beyond those we experience when we have a death in the family or among our friends, adds so much trauma to our lives.

Dealing with a death is one thing, but add all this suppression and we experience overwhelm, additional anxiety, and stress.

How do we handle inflationary prices when our wages are not increasing?

How do we remain calm when we are fighting for a job that mandates a vaccine we do not want to take?

Please take time to share your experiences and comments below so others can learn from you. The Mary Mac Show is also available on YouTube and you can leave comments there as well.

Stay Strong and Bless you my friend.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

As you know I am a great believer in the power of the Emotional Freedom Technique.

Here are a few videos that I think will help you tremendously:
EFT Video for Grief after Death of a Loved One, EFT Video for Anxiety, EFT Video for Releasing Stress and Tension, and How to do Surrogate EFT.

If you need someone to chat with, don’t be shy. It’s totally confidential. Go to Crisis Connections page on my website MaryMac.info to find telephone numbers for Crisis Hotlines around the world.

If you need help finding people who will understand your exact pain, visit my Grief Resources page.

Visit my site MaryMac.info/books for additional help, especially my book Understanding Your Grieving Heart After a Loved One’s death, the first and best book to reach for as you deal with your grief and How to Help a Grieving Child After a Loved One’s Death to help your surviving children.

You’re welcome to send your questions to the Contact page on my site.

You can obtain my free ebook entitled 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process, available for immediate download right here on this site.

Please subscribe, rate and review on The Mary Mac Show website or Apple Podcasts!

Remember to leave a comment below on this episode or at my YouTube Channel.

And I’d love your support of my podcast by buying me a coffee.

Thank you.

The Mary Mac Show | The Power of Embrace

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 87, we look at the value of hugs, embraces and touch to ward off despair, depression, fear, stress, disease, loneliness and isolation after a loved one’s death and instead soak in love, peace and calm.

Many of us don’t truly understand the great need to be held, hugged, embraced each day.

Especially when we are grieving a loved one’s death, it is all the more important.

Being held gives us a chance to release into their arms where calm and peace reside.

And it is needed for all ages. From a small infant to the elderly, every one needs this comfort, this security.

Many times, a person who is grieving get the release of crying into the chest or shoulder of another caring person. And they need that.

And if we are isolated or don’t have others around us, perhaps because we are widowed, live alone, are single, etc. it is important to have a pet or stuffed animal which we can cuddle with, stroke, snuggle with, sleep with just to have that connection.

Do you notice how young children love stuffed animals that they tuck under their arm and sleep with at night.

It brings them security and comfort.

And don’t you be embarrassed to do the same thing if you are alone and have no pet.

As I mention in my podcast this week, the light pink stuffed bear I bought for my grandmother gave her great comfort and when she died, I took it and still have it on my closet shelf.

I look at it all the time and it reminds me of her, but at times I hold it and stroke it and it comforts me.

So if we aren’t able to be around others, especially now with the pandemic dictating way too many months of isolation, get a stuffed or real animal to keep you company.

Speak to it, sleep with your furbaby, let it make you smile.

You need that to reduce stress, disease, anxiety, despair and depression.

Do it now so no matter what the future brings, you will have your friend there for you.

And whenever you are able to meet up with others face to face, make sure you reach open your arms and simply say “I need a hug.”

Be kind to yourself.

Sending you my love. xoxo

Additional Notes:

My book Understanding Your Grieving Heart After a Loved One’s Death is perfect for those beginning their journey. Click here to get yours by downloading it immediately.

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling lonely, overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions. Even if it is a suicide hotline, do not think they cannot help you. You do not need to feel suicidal to speak with these wonderful counselors. They are there to listen to you.

Use the Emotional Freedom Technique for Healing.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private email list so we can always stay in touch, since social media is no longer reliable. Receive my ebook 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process for immediate download.

The Mary Mac Show | Death of a Spouse

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 82, we discuss the challenges we face after the death of our husband or wife and how widows and widowers struggle to build a new life.

Widowhood is, by far, one of the most stressful and overwhelming losses we can experience.

Whether we have lost a husband or wife who was with us for a few years or decades, the relationship we shared with them was, more than likely, the most intimate one we had in our lifetime.

They spent more time with us than any other person.

While we feel a great bond to our children, our spouse is the one with whom we started our adult journey before our children were born.

And when they become adults and move onto their own lives, it is our spouse who is still next to us to live the remainder of our days.

Even if we divorce and remarry, that person is the one we share the majority of our waking hours with, apart from working.

We wake with them.

We go to sleep with them.

We enjoy all sorts of experiences with them.

They are our best friends who listen to us when we are sad, confused, angry, frustrated.

They hold us when we cry.

They console us when we are hurting.

They are our confidante, unlike any other.

So when they die, we are devastated.

And recovering from our grief is difficult and a long-term process.

Listen in to Episode 82 to learn what happens at the beginning of widowhood.

And remember, when it becomes overwhelming, do reach out to grief counselors at hotlines (see below) to listen and console you.

Sending you my love. xoxo

Additional Notes:

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions. Even if it is a suicide hotline, do not think they cannot help you. You do not need to feel suicidal to speak with these wonderful counselors. They are there to listen to you.

I encourage you to find support groups for widows and widowers by searching online for “widowed groups” in your city/town. They usually meet a few times each month at the local church, senior center, hospital or hospice in your area.

Use the Emotional Freedom Technique for Healing.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private email list so we can always stay in touch, since social media is no longer reliable. Receive my ebook 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process for immediate download.

xoxo