Tag Archives: death of a wife

The Mary Mac Show | Death of a Spouse

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 82, we discuss the challenges we face after the death of our husband or wife and how widows and widowers struggle to build a new life.

Widowhood is, by far, one of the most stressful and overwhelming losses we can experience.

Whether we have lost a husband or wife who was with us for a few years or decades, the relationship we shared with them was, more than likely, the most intimate one we had in our lifetime.

They spent more time with us than any other person.

While we feel a great bond to our children, our spouse is the one with whom we started our adult journey before our children were born.

And when they become adults and move onto their own lives, it is our spouse who is still next to us to live the remainder of our days.

Even if we divorce and remarry, that person is the one we share the majority of our waking hours with, apart from working.

We wake with them.

We go to sleep with them.

We enjoy all sorts of experiences with them.

They are our best friends who listen to us when we are sad, confused, angry, frustrated.

They hold us when we cry.

They console us when we are hurting.

They are our confidante, unlike any other.

So when they die, we are devastated.

And recovering from our grief is difficult and a long-term process.

Listen in to Episode 82 to learn what happens at the beginning of widowhood.

And remember, when it becomes overwhelming, do reach out to grief counselors at hotlines (see below) to listen and console you.

Sending you my love. xoxo

Additional Notes:

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions. Even if it is a suicide hotline, do not think they cannot help you. You do not need to feel suicidal to speak with these wonderful counselors. They are there to listen to you.

I encourage you to find support groups for widows and widowers by searching online for “widowed groups” in your city/town. They usually meet a few times each month at the local church, senior center, hospital or hospice in your area.

Use the Emotional Freedom Technique for Healing.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

And remember to sign up for my private email list so we can always stay in touch, since social media is no longer reliable. Receive my ebook 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process for immediate download.

xoxo

Father’s Day 2011

I wondered what I might write today on Father’s Day. It’s not like Mother’s Day. If you forget Mother’s Day, you’ll never live it down. But for some reason, Father’s are more forgiving if you don’t attend their day. Just acknowledging it, often is enough to satisfy a good man.

But what I’m reminded of today are the many men who are grieving either their spouse and are left to raise children alone, or the Dad who have lost children along the way. I’m also thinking about the many children whose Dads are no longer alive to celebrate this day with them.

I recently met a man whose child died in a pool drowning at the age of 5. His son would have been around 40 now and he told me the story as if it happened a few months back. He faced pained with sorrow. I could tell he missed him to this day and thought often how life would have been so different had this young son grown up to be a man and enjoyed many happy memories with his Dad. But that didn’t happen.

I also met many men whose younger wives died or were killed and they were left to raise their children on their own. Men don’t do grief in the same way women do grief. They struggle with it and beat themselves up because they think they were unable to protect or fix their wives’ problems. But they are not supermen, although they haven’t figured that out. Some things can’t be fixed and some people cannot be protected from the evils and pains of the world no matter how much we’d wish we could do so.

There are no many men who have little ones at home with no mother. They struggle to play the role of Dad and Mom. They need to learn so many new skills they never thought they’d need because their wives had naturally handled more tasks so they could simply go to work and build a career and financially take care of their family.

But once a Mom is no longer alive, everything changes and the burden of multitasking is extremely difficult for men. So when a man finds himself in a position of Mom, Dad, sole financial breadwinner, teacher, coach, chauffeur, cook, cleaner, etc. he is overwhelmed.

So today I applaud all the men, especially my friend Mark, who raises his three young ones with such devotion. It isn’t easy but his dedication amazes me.

And lastly, I remember all the boys and girls, men and women whose Dads are no longer around to celebrate this day. There is so much to miss. So much to remember. And sometimes, there are melancholy moments for all the years they didn’t have with their Dad, especially if he died young.