Category Archives: Emotional Challenges

Emotional Challenges, Holidays

After the Family Meeting

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So you’ve gathered everyone together and you’ve courageously listened to all the viewpoints about whether to ‘Christmas or Not to Christmas’.

You got more than you bargained for…some want the whole works, some want a condensed version, some want nothing at all. Now what?

It’ll be somewhere in the middle.

Those who want it all, will understand it’s just too overwhelming for you. Those that want nothing will need to honor that the person who died would want you to still live your life. And those who wanted something less than was ideal, are the compromisers of the bunch and thank God for them.

Now consider the list:

  • Tree
  • Decorations
  • Baking
  • Cooking
  • Shopping for gifts/food
  • Entertaining
  • Invitations/Events in the community
  • Cleaning/Painting
  • Christmas Eve and Christmas Day Dinner

Take this list, and add to it if need be, and separate into four columns.

First column is the task (above), second column is how you usually handle this task, third column (most important) is ‘How could I do this differently’ and fourth column is ‘Who can I get to help me with this?’

Now that you have a sense of what everyone in the household wants, develop the answers to these questions on paper, let it sit a bit, then revise again. It’s a very interesting exercise which will soon show just how much time and energy we normally put into our traditions. It may be the cause of unnecessary stress at this point in our grieving process, so please take that into account.

Once you see it on paper, it can be much easier to reevaluate with family just what is ‘do-able’ this year.

Emotional Challenges

Gratefulness – How May We Count the Ways

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Thanksgiving, 2008 in the USA is a day when we count our blessings. It is a day of recognition for all we have and all we’ve experienced during the past year. It is a day of being exceedingly grateful for all the wonderful family members and friends who still grace our lives and who bring meaning into each day.

In the hectic pace of commerce, the child rearing, the hobbies and sports, and all the tasks of living, we frequently remember to simply say thank you.

Thank you to our lover, partner, spouse and friend for all they give us in life. All the tenderness, compassion, care and concern. The little things that mean so much like when you’re ill and they’re there for you. Or when you just need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to hear the entire story just so you can get past it.

Thank you to your other family members and friends who always seem to know when you really need a friend and they either appear or call just when necessary.

Thank you to your little ones who make life so special. They always seem to keep us laughing.

The reason we take time to celebrate and recognize and thank all those whom we love, is because they will ultimately come a time when they aren’t around to thank. And a life without regrets is simply the best way to live.

With gratefulness on this special day for all those I love and who love me…

MaryMac