Tag Archives: 1984

Birthdays, Death of a Child, Homicide, The Mary Mac Show

The Mary Mac Show | Happy 50th Birthday Angela

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In Episode 156, LaTonya Moore, Esq. and I speak about the criminal justice system after the murder of a loved one and honor my stepdaughter who would have celebrated her 50th birthday today had she not been murdered at the age of 11.

When someone in your life is murdered, it throws you into a world that you never expected.

You start to ask yourself so many questions.

How could this have happened?

How could someone be so malicious, callous, brazen to have taken the life of someone else?

If you’ve been raised to respect others, you just can’t understand how someone could do this.

When someone you love is intentionally killed by another human being, you are left with more questions than answers.

Now we’re not talking about the weapon that was used to kill them.

It really doesn’t matter how they were killed. It matters THAT they were killed and by someone who intentionally killed them.

They had malice in their heart and for whatever reason they took someone’s life, they meant to do them harm.

And having to live with that fact, is extremely mind-blowing.

When LaTonya and I had this conversation in 2015, we delved into the murder of two individuals in her life and all she went through with their trials.

It took us 18 years to have our crime solved – the murder of Angela, my stepdaughter who was killed in 1984 and it took until 2002 just to have an arrest in the case.

Another 2 years to go to trial, 2 weeks to choose a jury, another entire calendar month of February 2004 to sit through the trial and a conviction on the last Friday afternoon of the month.

It was mentally exhausting, financially draining to fly from Florida to Long Island for the trial and the goodwill of friends who we stayed with throughout the trial.

Today Angela would have been 50 years old. All the life we missed over the last 39 years.

Unless you’ve lived through something so horrific, you really can’t comprehend the pain it brings when someone is intentionally taken from you and your family.

I’d like to think she’s resting in heaven and celebrating this day with those who love her.

Happy Birthday, Angela.

xoxo

Additional Resources:

Parents of Murdered Children – www.pomg.org

My 3 book bundle including Understanding Your Grieving Heart After a Loved One’s Death is perfect for those beginning their journey. It is available for immediate download in any part of the world.

Visit Crisis Connections at my website to telephone a trained counselor to speak with whenever you are feeling lonely, overwhelmed, confused, frightened, fearful or any host of emotions. Even if it is a suicide hotline, do not think they cannot help you. You do not need to feel suicidal to speak with these wonderful counselors. They are there to listen to you.

Use the Emotional Freedom Technique for Grief.

You can watch Marissa Peer’s “I Am Enough” meditation.

Treat yourself to a lovely gift from our Heart of Gold “I Remember” Products from The Mary Mac Store.

Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago. Perhaps you’d like to give a donation in your sibling’s name.

And remember to sign up for my private email list so we can always stay in touch, since social media is no longer reliable. Receive my ebook 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process for immediate download.

We’d love your support for our podcast and the work I do for grieving individuals. Buy me a coffee is an easy way to help me. Click on the purple coffee cup on this page! Thanks.

Anniversaries, Death of a Child, Emotional Challenges, Grieving Children, Homicide

30 Years Ago Today…

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101When I look back on my life, there are a few days that stand out with such significance that I can’t help but acknowledge them, regardless of the pain.

And while there are happy days I can recall, like when I completed both my degrees, when I was given wonderful awards for my work, when my books were published, there are several difficult days that I’ve lived that caused me and those I’ve loved great trauma.

One was the death of my beloved grandmother, who lived, almost exclusively, a healthy life till her death at 93. She was my anchor when life handed me difficult times while growing up.

Another was my little dog, Daisy, who brought me so much joy every day for almost 13 years. My constant companion, she was always there to snuggle with when I needed her most.

But there was one particular day that, when I look back on my life, shaped and changed who I was and, even though I had helped so many in my life before who had struggled with bereavement, it was her death that catapulted me into leading support groups, writing books, speaking, and starting a national foundation for grieving children.

107She is Angela.

A 10 year old who came into my life when I met her father. Her older brother was then 13 and younger just 9.

I remember her bubbly personality, her courage to ask me those most pressing questions you’d never think would come out of the mouth of such a young lady. But I answered every one and she went away satisfied.

Many who knew her longer than I described her as a firecracker. And for the short time I knew her, they were right.

I specifically remember how much she loved shopping together. How she couldn’t choose between the pink or blue cotton candy.

Or the last holiday she and her younger brother spent with us. It was Easter, 1984 and I made a special dinner for us.

At one point after dinner we took a long walk together. I wanted to purchase film that day to take a few pictures but we didn’t pick it up. And that moment was lost to me forever.

Angela at 11; her last school picture.Because just a few short months later on this day in 1984, that bright, bubbly young girl was murdered on Long Island.

And what followed were 18 years of an unsolved murder.

It took until 2002 to have enough evidence to charge the initial suspect and another two years to go to trial.

We endured a six-week emotional rollercoaster from the time they began picking a jury for her 20 year old murder, to the time he was convicted.

I often wonder what life would have been like if she were still here with us. Would she have been in my bridal party when her father and I married?

Would she have studied for a college degree? And what career might she have chosen?

Would she have married and had children? How many would she have had and what would they have looked like?

But today, I guess there is a part of me that, as my stepson texted me today, which says “I can’t believe it’s been 30 years.”

And he is so right.

Rest in Peace, Angela. You were with us for far too short a time, but the impact you had on our lives, both in life and death, will remain forever.