Tag Archives: Mary McCambridge

The Mary Mac Show | Preparing for Christmas and Hanukkah

The Mary Mac Show PodcastIn Episode 2, I delve into how to best prepare yourself for the year-end holidays, Christmas and Hanukkah.

The very best thing you can do for yourself is to consider what you are capable of, what brings you joy, how to decrease stress surrounding gifts, decorating, baking, invitations, etc.

What you did last year or in years past, may not be practical this year. It may just be too much for you and that’s alright.

I also discuss how to talk to family and friends to discuss how they can help you at this time.

Go to The Mary Mac Show and download Episode 2. Subscribing is the easiest way to insure you’ll always get my podcast each Sunday morning.

Announcing The Mary Mac Show | Understanding Your Grieving Heart After a Loved One’s Death

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

After much thought and many months of research and education of how to create a podcast, my show is finally here.

Decades ago I thought it would be wonderful to have a radio show on the grieving process after someone had died. I looked into it a few times and each time the cost was exorbitant.

As years passed and podcasting came about, I considered this media as a much better alternative for many reasons.

First, whatever I created could be hosted online forever for a much lesser charge.

Secondly, the work I did would be accessable to everyone, anywhere in the world they may be.

Thirdly, as time goes on, and a newly bereaved individual finds The Mary Mac Show, they will be able to start at the beginning or jump around to the episode which resonates with them for that period of time in their grieving process.

And lastly, it gave me a place to speak with the hurting directly, easily, intimately and share my over three decades of knowledge and lifelong pain from my own grief experiences.

So I’ve worked long days and nights over the last few months learning all I needed to know about how to set up a podcast. There is so much to learn!

The first person that needs thanking is Kayleigh Hanlin, co-Founder of Empowered Minds whom I met at a conference in September. Her organization helps children to live a life of self-love, self-acceptance and self-confidence through workshops and using their book The J.O.Y. Journal (Just Be You)!

She graciously introduced me to her cousin Justyn Bostick and his podcast Creating The Game. Justyn helped guide me through the podcast process and we had a wonderful conversation which led to an interview on his podcast.

Although I’ve never met them, I’d also like to thank Pat Flynn, whose site Smart Passive Income includes his podcasts The SPI Show and The Ask Pat Show. His videos on podcasting are outstanding.

John Lee Dumas‘ podcast, Entrepreneurs On Fire or Fire Nation, also has a detailed course on podcasting which was invaluable to me.

Yet the most important person to acknowledge is my David. His support and encouragement through these very long days made this possible. He listened through all the struggles, offered advice, and stayed awake till all hours of the night while I worked on the computer to create this baby. I am truly blessed to have him in my life. Thank you so much, David.

To all who helped my podcast become a reality, I appreciate your generosity of spirit.

Go to The Mary Mac Show to listen to my welcome podcast and learn more!

P.S. It is important to start with Episode 1 and work your way through. I have a method to my madness in that I incorporate several exercises within the first number of episodes which are foundational so even when the holidays have passed, please start from the beginning. Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Especially at this time of year, although all year long, I want to say how grateful I am for you.

Dealing with the death of a loved one is a stressful process and I appreciate the trust you have in me.

As we begin to move into the holiday season, please be kind to yourself.

A very special surprise is coming on Sunday, December 8, 2019. I will keep you posted.

Meanwhile, enjoy this time with family and friends.

I will be thinking of you.

Gratefulness During Painful Times

In the United States today we celebrate Thanksgiving Day, a tradition that dates back to when the pilgrims shared a meal with the native indians when the first settlers came to this country from Europe.

Later, President Abraham Lincoln would declare this day as an annual opportunity to thank God for the blessings He has bestowed on our people and our great land. And, yes, in the politically correct environment we live in, he specifically asked all Americans to thank ‘God’.

But for my readers, who are often those who are grieving a loss of some kind on this day, it can feel difficult to really find anything that we could be grateful for when we are in such pain. And this is a place where I have been in the past, too.

But I’d like you to know that just because you are hurting so deeply from the death of someone close, or the divorce, or the financial loss, or whatever you are dealing with, it is acceptable to still feel times of happiness.

Sometimes we won’t allow ourselves to delve into the happy bucket for fear of how others might judge us (“How can she look so happy when her father just died?”). Or when we ourselves feel guilty because we’re not grieving properly.

Well I’m here to tell you that there is no ‘right’ way to grieve. There is no ‘right’ timing when grief is finished. There is no ‘right’ way you can please all your family and friends and I don’t want you to try, because, quite frankly, if they are putting guilt on you, nothing you do will make them happy anyway. It’s time for them to get their own life and build their own happiness after someone’s death.

The only person’s grief you are responsible for is your own. You can help soothe another family member and listen to them, but ultimately it’s their journey and they will undoubtedly walk it in a different manner and timing than you, but that’s just fine. We aren’t all the same and we don’t all grieve the same as another family member.

So on this Thanksgiving, take some time to value what you do have in your life. Honor the great memories you shared with your loved one who is no longer here. Share those memories with those whom you will spend this day…aloud of course.

And even if you think it will be painful to even bring up their name at dinner, it probably will be and tears may be shed and, guess what, it’s absolutely ok. And, yes, even if it’s been a dozen years, holidays can be hard thinking how you’d really love for them to be sitting at the table next to you just one more time.

So shed the tears and raise a glass to their memory. Talk about them, share what makes your life great at this point in your life. Share how they shaped your life for the better.

And mostly realize just how far you have come in your journey. You are still moving forward, you are still moving toward your dreams, and you can still find things to be grateful for.

I wish you a memorable day. They are with you in spirit and nothing and no one can ever take that away.

30 Years Ago Today…

101When I look back on my life, there are a few days that stand out with such significance that I can’t help but acknowledge them, regardless of the pain.

And while there are happy days I can recall, like when I completed both my degrees, when I was given wonderful awards for my work, when my books were published, there are several difficult days that I’ve lived that caused me and those I’ve loved great trauma.

One was the death of my beloved grandmother, who lived, almost exclusively, a healthy life till her death at 93. She was my anchor when life handed me difficult times while growing up.

Another was my little dog, Daisy, who brought me so much joy every day for almost 13 years. My constant companion, she was always there to snuggle with when I needed her most.

But there was one particular day that, when I look back on my life, shaped and changed who I was and, even though I had helped so many in my life before who had struggled with bereavement, it was her death that catapulted me into leading support groups, writing books, speaking, and starting a national foundation for grieving children.

107She is Angela.

A 10 year old who came into my life when I met her father. Her older brother was then 13 and younger just 9.

I remember her bubbly personality, her courage to ask me those most pressing questions you’d never think would come out of the mouth of such a young lady. But I answered every one and she went away satisfied.

Many who knew her longer than I described her as a firecracker. And for the short time I knew her, they were right.

I specifically remember how much she loved shopping together. How she couldn’t choose between the pink or blue cotton candy.

Or the last holiday she and her younger brother spent with us. It was Easter, 1984 and I made a special dinner for us.

At one point after dinner we took a long walk together. I wanted to purchase film that day to take a few pictures but we didn’t pick it up. And that moment was lost to me forever.

Angela at 11; her last school picture.Because just a few short months later on this day in 1984, that bright, bubbly young girl was murdered on Long Island.

And what followed were 18 years of an unsolved murder.

It took until 2002 to have enough evidence to charge the initial suspect and another two years to go to trial.

We endured a six-week emotional rollercoaster from the time they began picking a jury for her 20 year old murder, to the time he was convicted.

I often wonder what life would have been like if she were still here with us. Would she have been in my bridal party when her father and I married?

Would she have studied for a college degree? And what career might she have chosen?

Would she have married and had children? How many would she have had and what would they have looked like?

But today, I guess there is a part of me that, as my stepson texted me today, which says “I can’t believe it’s been 30 years.”

And he is so right.

Rest in Peace, Angela. You were with us for far too short a time, but the impact you had on our lives, both in life and death, will remain forever.