Tag Archives: cancer

The Mary Mac Show | Bereaved Mothers Podcast Series | Death of a Young Child

In Episode 179, we continue our Bereaved Mothers Podcast Series featuring CarolAnn of Franklin, Wisconsin whose son Luka was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumor at age 7 and died at age 11 in 2018.

She and her husband, Bob and daughters Mara and Nina survived the four years of his illness, with all the ups and downs of a cancer diagnosis. Although surgery would help, the tumor always came back and decisions had to be made as to how much of the tumor should be touched and removed.

Luka was a strong, vibrant and funny young boy who did all he could to survive and live life to the fullest.

No matter the difficulty, he kept moving forward, even deciding on going back to his classroom.

Even though it was a very stressful four years, Luka and his family lived their best life as a family.

Watch it in video format below:

CarolAnn honors Luka with an incredible book on what he and her family endured during this time.

Order Luka’s Light if you are grieving a young child’s death, especially if your special child deals with cancer as well.

If you are aware of others who may need this knowledge, please share this post or our youtube interview with them, as well as on social media.

Much Love, my Warrior.
xoxo

Additional Notes – Some things that will help along this journey to ease the pain:

If you are having an especially difficult time emotionally, I recommend you speak with a specialist at a hotline near you. Here you will find hotlines all around the world. Trained counselors are there to listen, free of charge, to what’s going on with you. Take advantage of their great kindness. Vent with an objective individual. You don’t have to be ‘suicidal’ to call them, but if you are, that’s the best place to call. Don’t hestitate!

For parents and teens, there is an amazing resource where you can email or text counselors for help at The Boys Town National Hotline! Outstanding assistance for your children and you. You can also dial 988 for assistance.

Visit Julie’s EFT episodes on grief and she will teach you the Emotional Freedom Technique. Her videos calm your spirit and help you release emotional and physical pain as you move forward.

Here are some meditation music to help you rest.

You can order your Bach’s Rescue Remedy from most health food stores, either in person or online. Remember, these do have alcohol in them.

I use the Rescue Remedy 20ml drops but they have spray and other versions which might work better for you. And…they also have products to calm pets, too.

*To find a homeopathic doctor, visit here or here. Many offer phone consultations if you cannot find one in your area. They work with patients around the globe. You can also research in your area of the world.

Grab my free ebook, 21 Things You Need to Know About the Grieving Process, right here on my site.

Please share with anyone who may need this knowledge. Also subscribe, rate and review this podcast on whichever podcast platform you listened in.

The Mary Mac Show | Death of Dory’s Father II

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 140, I continued my discussion with Dory Fier of Indianapolis, IN, a pediatric social worker, who shares with us the terminal diagnosis her father received and his nine-month battle with an inoperable brain tumor.

In this second of two episodes, Dory and I delve deeply into how she dealt with the aftermath of his death and the physical symptoms that appeared for her.

We discuss how she wished she had taken advantage of the support system that wanted to help her and was grateful for those who did offer her assistance.

We also spoke about the difference between grieving an anticipatory death vs. a sudden death and her thoughts on that.

I am so grateful for the time Dory spent with me and I believe her courage to share this experience will benefit and bless you whether you are going through this struggle now or may in the future.

Much Love to Dory and her family!

xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

The Mary Mac Show | Death of Dory’s Father I

The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 139, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dory Fier of Indianapolis, IN, a pediatric social worker, who shares with us the terminal diagnosis her father received and his nine-month battle with an inoperable brain tumor.

In this first of two episodes, Dory and I delve deeply into all aspects of her father’s battle with glioblastoma, his original stroke misdiagnosis and dealing with paralysis for the remainder of his life.

She speaks candidly about how she, her sister and mother rallied around her Dad and cared for him during those nine months, moving him back to Indianapolis where they lived, from his then home in New Mexico.

She also discusses the toll it took on herself mentally, physically and how she juggled it all with her personal and professional life.

I am so grateful for the time Dory spent with me and I believe her courage to share this experience will benefit and bless you whether you are going through this struggle now or may in the future.

Listen in next Sunday to hear Part II of our interview.

Much Love to Dory and her family!

xoxo

Additional Notes:

If you are ill or grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

The very best individuals to connect with are those who are suffering your exact type of death. Go here.

Steve Jobs: “Life is brief, and then you die. You know?”

I think the most admirable lesson Steve Jobs taught us about the way he lived his life was that he LIVED it.

To the full. Overflowing. Nonstop. Always creating. Always dreaming. Always expanding. Completely. He used every drop of it and we grasped all he gave.

Billions around the world honor him today as he leaves this life. But, for me, the true measure of our admiration toward this amazing man is that we did honor him all along his life, at every creation. And there were many.

There is no doubt he is the Edison of our generation. His accomplishments are so vast, I doubt most people know them all.

The Apple II, IMac, Pixar Studio work which brought so much fun to small and big children everywhere (remember ToyStory), ITunes, IPod, IPhone, IPad. All the genius of one man.

I loved the fact that he worked from his gut. He went to the quiet place where all creation comes from and listened to the small voice that he knew was right.

No focus groups, no research, just gut.

In his 2005 Commencement Address at Sanford University, he spoke of his life, his losses, his challenges, his struggles and his views about life and death, especially since, at that time, he had only one year earlier learned he had pancreatic cancer. (Read the transcript here, or watch below.)

His views on life and death are so profound, I wanted to share them with you. (Also read his infamous quotes here.)

Some of his memorable reflections are these:

“When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important thing I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

~~~~~~~~

“[Steve’s pancreatic cancer] was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept.

No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don’t want to die to get there, and yet, death is the destination we all share.

No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now, the new is you.

But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it’s quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Steve Jobs not only created magnificent products that changed the way we live our daily lives but he also created an awareness in us that life is so short and should be treasured. Instead of focusing on the trivial parts of life, he inspired us to reach for the best in ourselves each and every day. Because one day, as he reminded us, it will truly be our last.

When is Enough Enough?

I’m always amazed at how doctors will tell you they cannot ‘cure’ your illness, cancer, etc. but at the same time tell you they can still ‘treat’ it. Exactly what does that mean, anyhow?

Well what that means is this…’treat’ is codeword for “I don’t have anything else to offer you, the cancer cannot be cured, we cannot operate, but you might as well do chemo and radiation anyway.” This makes me absolutely crazy.

So when is enough, enough? When is it time to acknowledge the chemo and radiation are really ways to finance the hospitals and medical machine that is the second largest GDP in the USA – cancer.

Will it cure the cancer? No. Can they operate and take out the cancer – in this particular case – no.

So, knowing that, exactly why would you want to put yourself through the pain of radiation and the sickness that comes with chemo. The poison will not make you better, only worse.

There comes a time when you have a serious question to ask yourself. When do I recognize that this is my time and better to live out whatever time I do have left without treatments that will not make me better, just because a doctor has prescribed them and so we go along with what he says.

I have seen this time and time again. There will come a time that no medicine will help…instead it will make life more miserable. It will make the last months/years of your life a living hell, going to chemo treatments, undergoing radiation, for what?

Instead, a serious assessment of possibilities are necessary. Can natural health alternative help better at this point? If you know the illness cannot be cured, wouldn’t it be better to enjoy your last time with your family and when pain medication was needed, have the doctor prescribe a morphine patch.

This way, you get to truly LIVE the rest of your life. You get to enjoy your family at home, instead of going for rounds and rounds of treatments which will do no good. You get to spend time talking about your life together, reminiscing about old memories, prepare the young people in your life for your passing, get to say all the things you needed to say to those you loved but never could.

If you’re well enough, do the things now that you didn’t get a chance to do before you get too weak. Visit your friends, write the letters, plan your funeral the way you want it. Maybe even make a video to tell them how much you love them.

So yes, it’s a bold step to refuse further treatment…but someone has to be strong enough to say out loud what everyone’s thinking anyway.

Enjoy what time you have. Don’t succumb to the only options doctors have to offer.