Category Archives: Disenfranchised Grief

Coronavirus, Disenfranchised Grief, Emotional Challenges, Homicide, Military, Natural Disasters, Sudden Death, Terrorism, The Mary Mac Show

The Mary Mac Show | When There Is No Funeral

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The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 123, we talk about how to handle our grief when there is no body to bury and/or what to do when it’s not possible or preferred to have a traditional funeral.

In most parts of the world and within most cultures, it is traditional to have a last event, a funeral, to honor the dead in our family.

But with the pandemic and with war raging in this world, that may not have been possible in the recent past or in the near future.

During World War II, families who helped liberate European countries were fortunate to even know where their loved one’s died.

And there are military cemeteries in many parts of the world who honored those families by burying their fathers, sons, brothers and other loved ones.

There is also the unexpectedness of not having a body to bury.

People who were blown away in tornadoes and could not be found.

Those who were murdered, possibly dismembered.

Those who died in fires, airplane crashes, though terrorism, war, drowning in the ocean or other bodies of water, run over by trains, found months or even years later and their body is decomposed.

Even from explosions in war, in building collapses, earthquakes and volcanoes where bodies could not be recovered, avalanches.

No one ever expects that their body will not be found and buried but this happens more than we know.

And with the high cost of a funeral (upward of $10,000 USD) many families don’t have the resources to do this.

So cremation is an alternative.

But what about a funeral?

Many people are opting to something different to still commemorate their loved ones and we speak about those various ways in this week’s episode.

Listen in to Episode 123 and leave a comment below how you chose to honor your loved one. What ceremonies worked for you?

Bless you my friend.
xoxo

Additional Notes:

You can obtain my free ebook entitled 21 Things You Must Know About The Grieving Process, available for immediate download right here on this site.

If you need knowledge as to what to expect when you’re grieving, visit www.GriefAuthority.com and pick up my 3 Book Bundle of Hope which you can immediately download 24/7 anywhere in the world. It is important to not guess if what you’re feeling is part of this process. With my books, you will know what happens during this time so you’ll have your mind at ease. Go get them now.

If you are grieving a loved one’s death, take the time to research a hotline with trained counselors to speak with.

Disenfranchised Grief, Emotional Challenges, Emotional Freedom Technique | EFT, The Mary Mac Show

The Mary Mac Show | Disenfranchised Grief II

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The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 61, Disenfranchised Grief II, we continue to delve into the trauma and pain mourners feel when they can’t fully express their loss after a loved one’s death and how to help ourselves cope.

Whether you are grieving a secret relationship where your partner dies and you can’t fully mourn publicly for their death, or perhaps someone has taken their life and shame and embarrassment make it difficult to share the circumstances surrounding their death, these are forms of disenfranchised grief.

Listen in today to learn more about how to deal with these difficult deaths.

Additional Notes:

To see my signature Heart of Gold “I Remember” Tees, Hoodies and other products at The Mary Mac Store, either for yourself or as a gift for someone grieving the death of a loved one, please go here. Remember, a portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death which I established many years ago.

Grief Grieving Hoodie

Find grief resources here. Call the national organization which best suits your grief to find local support groups or contact persons to help you.

Visit the “I Will Remember You – Grief Support and Grief Quotes” facebook group which helps you connect with others who are grieving. This is a wonderful private group originating from Australia, which you can join, where you can vent and share your story. Tell Shar we sent you!

Crisis Hotlines with outstanding counselors who are standing by to listen to your pain and help you. Excellent way to release your pain today.

If you are feeling shame either because you’ve imposed it on yourself for what you “think” a certain death means to you, or because others are making your feel that way, you might find solace in this EFT Tapping Video by Arianna Opper, D.O. She has a very soothing voice and aura.

If you’d like to explore her other videos, please go here.

And remember to sign up for my private list below, so we can always stay in touch.

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Much Love,

Mary Mac xoxo

Disenfranchised Grief, Emotional Challenges, Homicide, Suicide, The Mary Mac Show, Vehicular Homicide/Drunk Driving

The Mary Mac Show | Disenfranchised Grief I

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The Mary Mac Show Podcast

In Episode 60, we delve into the trauma and pain mourners feel when they can’t fully express their loss after a loved one’s death.

There are so many situations where someone feels shame after a loved one’s death and cannot express their grief and pain because the relationship may not have the proper ‘label’ or the relationship has been so strained or secret.

Many types of death carry a stigma that society places on it and, consequently, many bereaved feel stifled in openly showing their grief.

Often times people make others feel less than or embarrassed when a person has overdosed, or took their own life, or was murdered or killed another and themselves in a vehicular homicide crash.

They convey that something is wrong with a woman who has a miscarriage or stillbirth or several.

It could be a secret gay relationship was never known and the surviving partner must keep that to themselves because their lover was married, perhaps even with children and only hurt with come to his family.

It might be an ex-spouse who caused all sorts of pain and your children are grieving his or her death, but where does your grief fit in?

This week we discuss many different types of disenfranchised grief and next week we will look at what we can do to soothe ourselves when we are dealing with such a death.

Additional Notes:

If you are feeling shame either because you’ve imposed it on yourself for what you “think” a certain death means to you, or because others are making your feel that way, you might find solace in this EFT Tapping Video by Arianna Opper, D.O. She has a very soothing voice and aura.

If you’d like to explore her other videos, please go here.

To see my signature Heart of Gold “I Remember” Mug, either for yourself or as a gift for someone grieving the death of a loved one, please go here. A portion of all proceeds help fund The Foundation for Grieving Children, Inc., the first national non-profit public charity which benefits children, teens, young adults after a loved one’s death.

Much Love,

Mary Mac xoxo

Death of a Child, Death of a Parent, Disenfranchised Grief, Emotional Challenges, Holidays

When Mother’s Day Stings

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When Mother’s Day swings around I usually have mixed emotions.

I’m grateful that my own mother is still with me, along with the other ‘mothers’ I have the privilege to still enjoy…my Aunt, my Godmother, and my friend Jeanne, all who really ‘get’ me since I’m anything but conventional in my thinking.

But my heart is with women, today, who are reminded that ‘motherhood’ hasn’t worked out quite as they’d expect. And I’ve met many who have had these experiences; some have had a few.

Like the lady who has lost a child, something she never anticipated. Perhaps her only child or all her children have died. The one who never knew her mother because her mother died before she was old enough to meet and enjoy her.

Or the woman who never had the honor to even becoming pregnant for a whole host of reasons. And the one who is still able to bear children but can’t keep a pregnancy.

We look at loss in many different ways; we see things others don’t see on these types of occasions. We don’t bring it up in conversation, instead we simply let it remain buried deep inside where a lot of that pain still sits.

My mother has graciously gotten to the point where she’ll wish me a Happy Mother’s Day with the caveat, ‘because you are a mother to many’ which is her way of soothing that wound and I’m at a place where I might well up with a tear or two but at least it’s not the piercing pain that I once had years ago.

Sometimes it’s not an actual loss of a mother, for some, that is difficult to grieve. It can also be what hasn’t occurred that can sting on a day like today.

Death of a Child, Death of a Parent, Disenfranchised Grief, Emotional Challenges, Holidays

Bittersweet Mother’s Day

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When Mother’s Day swings around I usually have mixed emotions.

I’m grateful that my own mother is still with me, along with the other ‘mothers’ I have the privilege to still enjoy…my Aunt, my Godmother, and my friend Jeanne, all who really ‘get’ me since I’m anything but conventional in my thinking.

But my heart is with women, today, who are reminded that ‘motherhood’ hasn’t worked out quite as they’d expect. And I’ve met many who have had these experiences; some have had a few.

Like the lady who has lost a child, or one whose only child or all her children have died. The one who never knew her mother because her mother died before she was old enough to meet and enjoy her.

Or the woman who never had the honor to even becoming pregnant for a whole host of reasons. And the one who is still able to bear children but can’t keep a pregnancy or get pregnant to begin with.

We look at loss in many different ways; we see things others don’t see on these types of occasions. We don’t bring it up in conversation, instead we simply let it remain buried deep inside where a lot of that pain still sits.

My mother has graciously gotten to the point where she’ll wish me a Happy Mother’s Day with the caveat, ‘because you are a mother to many’ which is her way of soothing that wound and I’m at a place where I might well up with a tear or two but at least it’s not the piercing pain that I once had years ago.

Sometimes it’s not an actual loss of a mother, for some, that is difficult to grieve. It can also be what hasn’t occurred that can sting on a day like today.