Each year when this day rolls around, I am reminded of all the sacrifice a family makes when their loved one goes away to protect the freedoms we Americans enjoy each day.
And while I’m so amazed at what it takes to be in the military and fight overseas with the constant threat of being killed, if they’re in a combat situation, I feel it’s also important to recognize the sacrifices a family makes throughout the entire tour.
A spouse who is left to raise a young family by themselves perhaps on a military base. The inadequate stipend they are given to raise that family. The increased level of responsibility they must endure.
And if their beloved is killed, they are left to raise that family alone.
Today I salute not only the veterans and remember all those who were killed to secure our freedoms, but for all the family members who are or have grieved a military family member’s death and the difficult road to recovery on an emotional as well as financial level.
Valentine’s Day symbolizes love and hope for the future. But sometimes, after we’ve lost someone special, it can be difficult to enjoy this day. And this is thoroughly understandable.
If you’re thinking of someone who is no longer with you today, try to remember the special Valentine’s Days you did get to share together. Try to remember the happier moments instead of dwelling on their absence.
Try to dig in and think of all the little things that you made special with them. The funny notes, the chocolates, maybe the gifts, the laughter.
Yes, today may not be like other Valentine’s Days you had in the past, yet you can try to do something special for yourself now. Could it be a lovely bubble bath, a round of golf, a special meal, a new pair of soft slippers, hot cocoa and a funny movie to move your mind toward hopefully things you wish to experience and create?
Being good to yourself when you’re hurting is key to moving forward. Don’t neglect your emotional needs and health.
And if you don’t hear it today from anyone else, let me say you are loved. You are loved by me and many others. I’m sure if you considered all the people you have helped in your life, there are many people who love you.
So do enjoy this day. Just because you feel the pain of loss does not mean you cannot also feel the joy of living.
I think the most admirable lesson Steve Jobs taught us about the way he lived his life was that he LIVED it.
To the full. Overflowing. Nonstop. Always creating. Always dreaming. Always expanding. Completely. He used every drop of it and we grasped all he gave.
Billions around the world honor him today as he leaves this life. But, for me, the true measure of our admiration toward this amazing man is that we did honor him all along his life, at every creation. And there were many.
There is no doubt he is the Edison of our generation. His accomplishments are so vast, I doubt most people know them all.
The Apple II, IMac, Pixar Studio work which brought so much fun to small and big children everywhere (remember ToyStory), ITunes, IPod, IPhone, IPad. All the genius of one man.
I loved the fact that he worked from his gut. He went to the quiet place where all creation comes from and listened to the small voice that he knew was right.
No focus groups, no research, just gut.
In his 2005 Commencement Address at Sanford University, he spoke of his life, his losses, his challenges, his struggles and his views about life and death, especially since, at that time, he had only one year earlier learned he had pancreatic cancer. (Read the transcript here, or watch below.)
“When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “no” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important thing I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
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“[Steve’s pancreatic cancer] was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept.
No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don’t want to die to get there, and yet, death is the destination we all share.
No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now, the new is you.
But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it’s quite true.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.
Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Steve Jobs not only created magnificent products that changed the way we live our daily lives but he also created an awareness in us that life is so short and should be treasured. Instead of focusing on the trivial parts of life, he inspired us to reach for the best in ourselves each and every day. Because one day, as he reminded us, it will truly be our last.
In anticipation of Memorial Day this year, I did a little research to find out exactly how many families have paid the ultimate sacrifice of sending their loved ones off to war, never to return to them. I was amazed at the huge numbers of deaths, especially during World War I and II but had no idea the numbers were so high for the Civil War, especially since our population was nearly 1/3 of what it is today. Take a look at each war and the total American Fatalities for each.
American Revolutionary War 22,674
War of 1812 11,700
Mexican-American War 13,271
American Civil War (1860-1965) 618,000
Spanish-American War 5,385
Philippine-American War 4,196
World War I (1917-1918) 117,465
World War II (1941-1945) 418,500
Korean War (1950-1953) 36,516
Vietnam War 58,159
Gulf War (1991) 382
War on Terror (2001-present)
Afghanistan (2001-present) 1,413
Iraq (2003-present) 4,430
Total Military Deaths 1,312,091
Although many are unhappy with our presence in the middle east at this time, the number of casualties has been remarkable low considering we have been there for over a decade.
But to a spouse or child grieving that soldier’s death, they are the only one who matters in all these statistics. And it is their sacrifice I think about today. Their pain, their grief, their loss, their sorrow.
Each military family who has either lost a loved one or is grieving the loss of limbs, sustained head injuries, or life as they once knew it, are forever changed.
So today we remember them for their courage, their commitment, their sacrifice and thank them for all of it.
Today on Memorial Day 2010, I was so delighted to learn about a wonderful organization which was started 20 years ago to unite the children of the 58,260 men who were killed in the Vietnam War.
“Sons and Daughters in Touch”will celebrate their Dads’ lives this Father’s Day, June 20th, as they do each year on this special day, by gathering at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall at 10:00 a.m. in Washington, D.C.
Its leader, Tony Cordero, lost his dad when he was quite young and I commend him for providing such a heartwarming and healing opportunity for hundreds of thousands of children, who are now adults, who lost their fathers during the Vietnam War.
No one helps us heal better than another person who has walked in our exact shoes. They lived through seeing their Dad come home for short periods of time and be redeployed. They and their family members lived with the fear of not knowing whether he would return. Members of SDIT know exactly what it’s like to walk in those shoes. And nothing could bring more comfort than sharing with a fellow survivor.
If you know of a family who survived the loss of a father, son, brother, uncle, cousin or other relative in Vietnam, please forward this information to them.
I applaud Mr. Cordero and the countless volunteers who help children, whatever their age, acknowledge their grief and celebrate the lives of their beloved Dads.
Assisting Those Grieving a Loved One's Death
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Each year when this day rolls around, I am reminded of all the sacrifice a family makes when their loved one goes away to protect the freedoms we Americans enjoy each day.
